Sad.
sad and busy
sit together because they help each other

busy
makes the coffee,
opens the car doors, loads suitcases while sad wonders

sad
wonders when to touch, to hug,
to take a picture and freeze a precious moment to savor, later.

Time,
says busy,, where did it go?
Did I make it be so mysteriously gone?

Time
does not say when, but I
know each goodbye is practice for a greater goodbye

Sad
remembers each hello
is practice too, for a greater greeting outside of time.

They do need each other, these two.

I’m not really sure if tikki is spelled with two k’s – doesn’t matter either. A place with a grass roof and open sides, usually on the beach. We just had a walk along the river in Bradenton which ended at a place such as this and since we were hot and thirsty we sat down in a shady place with a nice breeze and cooled our heels. It was lovely. I will probably remember it for a long time.

It’s a strange feeling to be spending what you believe to be your last few days in a place you count as familiar – knowing you may never have a reason to return again. It’s even harder when you know you like the place.  This is what I am experiencing even though it’s not been me who has been living in this little ranchette in Gainesville, it’s been my daughter.  I’m remembering all the times I’ve visited, all the celebrations we’ve had here, all the work I’ve done at various times, the trail rides I’ve been on in the neighborhood, the exploratory drives I’ve taken through the little towns nearby, the stores and restaurants I’ve visited, the many nights on the couch, catching up on Julie’s tivo shows, chasing the horses away from the shrubs they love to eat, fighting ants, planting gardens, scrubbing horse troughs. I could go on even longer than this but you get the idea.

Gainesville has served it’s purpose. In the last four years it has turned out another class of veterinarians who are being unleashed on the world – Julie among them. We could have had a more temporal viewpoint if it had been more school-like and institutional, if she had lived in a dormitory and had no life outside of classes.  But she has had her first real home of her own making, and for four years has poured a great deal of effort into it. She has been carpenter, plumber, mechanic, tenant and landlord, and developed a fairly large network of friends and business contacts. I’m just saying it’s difficult to be in the leaving stage when you don’t have much knowledge about the next stage you’re entering. 

But that’s going to be pretty exciting and I am going to do all I can to help her think about what’s ahead.  Anticipation is a fun stage too.  And tomorrow we celebrate the success of the last four years with a graduation ceremony and a small gathering of friends. All our landmarks occassions are paired with great feasts of food (why is that? I don’t know.) and true to form we have been shopping and preparing food much of the time today.  Julie and the father are at an awards banquet tonight (what did I tell you – more food).  The grandparents are braving all the inconveniences of being away from home and having irregular schedules and are a great help to me as I try to help my daughter. We get to build some memories around these last few days here and I guess that’s what life is all about, doing things you want to remember. Just sayin’… 

I have northern visitors, FINALLY!  It’s been about nine months since I saw the parents and now they are safely here.  They had a few hours to “people watch” in the Minneapolis airport, followed by a smooth non-stop flight. I met them as they came from their gate and we were home to Bradenton in no time at all, even with rush hour traffic.  We’ve had supper and are all tired now from our early starts. (I worked this morning, up at 5am). We are at the beginning of an eventful week and although I know it will go quickly I am determined to be “in the moment” for as much of it as possible.


I made Mom get in a picture with me



It doesn’t make a lot of sense. I’m not the only one who does this either.  There’s something about having company come, overnight guests, that makes people think of having to be perfectly prepared. Of course, most visitors would expect a clean bed, and maybe a neat bedroom.  But what about the inside of the microwave, the dust on the top of the bookcase, a dead house plant here and there, maybe a few cat hairs on the recliner?

And even more ridiculous, it’s my parents who are coming. They don’t know what I’m like? I lived with them for 18 years and really haven’t changed a whole lot as far as my cleanliness standards go. I’ve decided to treat it kind of like a spot on my favorite shirt – instead of not wearing it and throwing it in the laundry I pretend it just happened since putting it on, and what can I do? After the parents are here for a couple hours they won’t know whether the dirt was here before they came or if it appeared since and belongs to them. It will be evening and I can keep the lights low. I’ll put flowers in their bedroom to distract them. 

And ultimately, would they want me to obsess about housework and make myself miserable? No they would not! They want pure happiness and me, in good health and rested, so I can enjoy their visit. None of this wearing myself out with floor scrubbing. Instead I am eating popcorn and writing in my blog.

There won’t be much time tomorrow after they get here so we’ll have supper and get them to bed as early as needed – travel days are a little stressful.  Tuesday will be the day for my dad to visit with his sister and her husband before they head back north for the summer.  They will be here for breakfast and supper – a fun day of eating and relaxing.  Wednesday we’ll be gathering things together for a graduation celebration on Saturday.  In the afternoon we’ll go boating on the intercoastal waterway and have a picnic supper – a fun evening of eating and relaxing. Thursday, we’ll travel to Gainesville where the graduation will take place.  Probably more eating and relaxing.  Friday night there will be an award banquet that the husband and daughter Julie are attending – yes, more eating and relaxing.  And Saturday after the grad ceremony we’ll all gather at Julie’s house and eat and relax with her friends.  Are you getting the subliminal theme of the week (eat and relax, eat and relax…) So you see, I haven’t been scrubbing floors but look at all the stuff I’ve been planning! I’m awesome! 



Ok, so I did clean inside the microwave (looks nice huh?). But I didn’t scrub the floor.



Isn’t that an interesting word?  Limbic. It comes from limbus which mean a border or edge and it’s used in medical terminology. I’ve been reading about it lately as it relates to an important part of the human brain which is kind of on the edge of/between two other important parts of the brain (I don’t know if there is an unimportant part of the brain – probably not.) Some scientists say the limbic system is an outdated term since the things it includes and the functions it performs keeps changing.

This is one of the interesting things about this part of the brain, whatever you want to call it. It is the link between thoughts and physical reactions.  It is why thinking you are allergic to something is pretty much the same as actually being allergic to something.  It is why emotions such as fear can flood your body with hormones that trigger energy release, put some of your body systems in high gear and shut others down completely. 

I have often felt compassion for people with multiple allergies that are limiting their lives significantly. Do you know there are people that have to isolate themselves from just about everything including regular atmospheric air, most foods and even other people? It’s called Multiple Chemical Sensitivities/Environmental Illness (MCS/EI). There are other conditions that have a connection with MCS/EI and can come along with it – fibromyalgia for one, depressive disorders, panic attacks, asthma, thyroid disorders, immune disorders. 

What you think can affect every function of every system in your body.  It is a fascinating area of study.  And because it concerns thoughts, emotions and the spirit, science is not the only authority speaking to it. There is more to “as he thinketh in his heart, so is he”  (Prov. 23:7) than meets the eye. It’s why laughing is good for you.  It’s why happily married couples live longer on average, and it’s why being confident and secure feels better than being fearful and resentful.

My head is pounding, well no, more like being pounded if I’m describing the feeling.  Headaches are never all that much fun but at least they are not a death sentence (now that I think about that I hope it’s not the case…).  I worked last night and didn’t get much sleep, followed by a trip to the dentist for teeth cleaning so I’m not really wondering why I feel a little under par.  The wonderful thing is I am home in my quiet, air-conditioned house with no pressing tasks, so I’m going to hit the recliner for a nap.

But before I do that, I have the irresistable urge to write something because I’ve had a very nice weekend thru Tuesday.  It was Mother’s Day weekend.  I’m never really sure what to expect from these holidays since it seems I often end up celebrating them in atypical ways.  On Sunday I got an early text that was heartwarming to say the least.  A 20-something Mexican man sent me a mother’s day greeting from California that was such a surprise – but then, he is a pretty amazing kid.  His real mother has a gem of a son.  Hope she knows it.  The afternoon brought greeting from both my awesome and highly valued girls.

Another holiday blessing was my evening meal.  I planned it and cooked it myself, but not to feel sorry for me – it was fun.  When I have all afternoon to putter in the kitchen and pay attention to all the details, putting on a dinner is a relaxing delight.  Guests were my aunt and uncle Brennen, and the bachelor Carroll, and our monthly dinner partner Jack.  Jack is always aware of gentlemanly obligations and was trying to make up for my day slaving in the kitchen. He brought me wine, flowers AND candy.

 Doesn’t get much better than that.  And pretty much everything I cooked turned out great.  I was testing a recipe that I’m using for Julie’s graduation on the 25th. It was slow roasted beef brisket.  I was specifically watching Carroll because he often gives up on meat that he can’t chew but he gave it a great score.  I was especially pleased with the dessert – a mango mousse with berry sauce.  Food is such fun when enjoyed at leisure in good company.

Monday’s treat was dinner with my bestest girlfriend at Chiles, followed by the last session of my year long Bible study.  Tuesday’s treat was having the day off and getting to visit another friend that I had wanted to catch up on.  As I was sitting in her home talking with her I got a text that my soon-to-be-graduated-and-looking-for-a-job daughter was in an employment interview.  We have been praying about this possible job for her for several months now and my friend and I put in one last request for a favorable outcome.  Shortly after Julie sent another text confirming the hire.  Wow, what a relief it is to know that she has that big decision behind her.  Lots more uncertainties will fall into place now that we know where she is going and what she will be able to pay for. I am not afraid to give credit to God who has been watching over this process for many years now – Julia Dietz, D.V.M. 

And one last little but marvelous thing. An orchid that I bought a couple years ago which has never bloomed for me, now looks like this.  It is a total surprise because it’s not what I thought I was buying at all.  But it’s so different from all my other orchids that I LOVE it.  

Now to get rid of this annoying headache.



A rare picture of me enjoying myself

 It’s a lovely morning in the oneacrewoods.  Water is flying through the air (irrigation) which is still cool, soft, humid. I have spent some time in my outdoor office with my cereal, my books, and my computer. I hoped it might inspire a blog post but no, I got lost in facebook, catching up on comments from my most internet present friends. What a window on the world. And what a study of personalities it would provide (probably is already providing).  What are we revealing about ourselves when we post? What are we needing when we sit and read for hours?  What kind of friendship does facebook provide?  What kind of friendship is it replacing? These are the questions that I’m thinking about more and more as I see what a cultural change this social media has created. I’m not questioning that it has some value.

Last night I went to a party.  Parties are usually difficult for me, as are other group gatherings like concerts.  I often go alone to these kinds of things and am always amazed at how isolated a crowd can make me feel.  Very seldom does the crowd experience enhance my appreciation of an event.  Nevertheless I go to some of these things realizing there is a social obligation that I want to honor, or people that I want to support.  Similar to my facebook persona, I become more of an observer.  I have found that taking pictures is a good way to blend in and pretend that I belong to the event.

The party was a tea for women and girls and for me, it was my Mother’s Day celebration.  It was very well done, with an Alice in Wonderland theme – actually the Mad Hatter was the star and everyone had to wear a hat.  Maybe that was the extra incentive that I had to show up.  How many opportunities to wear a hat does one get? And I had a hat that I like and never get to wear.  The excitement of the evening was something on one of the tables that caught fire and had to be doused with a bottle of water.  Candles are pretty but they are an open flame – just sayin’….



The food was especially beautiful




Excellent tea service



Hats were required



Like I said, the food was beautiful




The Cheshire Cat guarding the M&M’s



Croquet activity

more specifically, get outside.  This morning, in spite of having many things on the to do list, I went outside just to look at and enjoy the amazing things right outside my door.  I swept off my new pavers, pulled up a few weeds, did some arranging of chairs and table, and suddenly felt so at peace and satisfied. 

I have a lot of artful paths through my gardens.  They are bordered by flowers and grasses that I call lovely and good.  They seed themselves and spring up here and there, sometimes in the path. From time to time I take stock of how they are spreading and whether or not I like them where they are. If I don’t like them, I pull them out. When I don’t pay enough attention to them they can actually obscure the path or make it hard to navigate.  This is just like life.  I can draw some kind of lesson from my garden anytime I go out there and so can we all.  Get outside, get peaceful, look around, think and figure something out.