It seems like every time I turn around I am facing a committment of some kind. Should I go or not go? Should I join or not join? Should I spend or not spend? Should I quit or keep on? Is there something about autumn that makes all these decisions necessary?
Today I should respond to the detailed email I received over the weekend urging me to buy the airline ticket now if I want to go to Cambodia in December. This would be my third trip to southeast Asia and to this point I have been saying yes to the venture. I now have friends in Cambodia that I email, facebook with, and love dearly. They are expecting me to come and see them again (because I told them I would…) So many new and exciting things have happened over there this year – the new campus in Phnom Penh for the orphan homes, the women’s dorm for university students, many of the children having learned English well enough that real conversations are possible. I want to go!
And still the moment when I push the online “purchase” button for what seems like such a great deal of money, such a long flight… that is the moment of real committment. And I hesitate because I’m a little bit afraid. Always. And as silly as it seems, I always give God the message that if he doesn’t want me over there he will have to prevent my going, somehow. He and I both know that he could do that and I welcome him having the final say.
So, here I go on the committment of the day. Praying that it goes well.