Commitment

It seems like every time I turn around I am facing a committment of some kind.  Should I go or not go? Should I join or not join?  Should I spend or not spend? Should I quit or keep on? Is there something about autumn that makes all these decisions necessary?

Today I should respond to the detailed email I received over the weekend urging me to buy the airline ticket now if I want to go to Cambodia in December.  This would be my third trip to southeast Asia and to this point I have been saying yes to the venture.  I now have friends in Cambodia that I email, facebook with, and love dearly.  They are expecting me to come and see them again (because I told them I would…) So many new and exciting things have happened over there this year – the new campus in Phnom Penh for the orphan homes, the women’s dorm for university students, many of the children having learned English well enough that real conversations are possible.  I want to go!

And still the moment when I push the online “purchase” button for what seems like such a great deal of money, such a long flight… that is the moment of real committment. And I hesitate because I’m a little bit afraid.  Always.  And as silly as it seems, I always give God the message that if he doesn’t want me over there he will have to prevent my going, somehow.  He and I both know that he could do that and I welcome him having the final say. 

So, here I go on the committment of the day.  Praying that it goes well.

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