A Dark and Rainy Day

September 17, 2015September 17, 2015 ShirleyjdietzLeave a comment

It’s one of those days when even though nothing specific is terribly wrong, everything in general seems terribly wrong and overwhelming. Had one like that? It doesn’t help that our house, which has poor lighting and is usually dark inside, is even darker today with the cloud cover and rain outside.

Even as I try to get in touch with the joy I know is somewhere inside me, I can’t stop looking at the disorder, mess, and accumulation of things in my house that put me into a near catatonic state. Who would think that remodeling one small space in the house could affect the whole? I wander from room to room looking for something that I can make a decision about. Do I need it? Can I part with it? Where will I put it if I keep it? How do I get ride of it? Should I sell it or just put it out by the road to be picked up? How can an innocent jar of paper clips that I don’t need immobilize me? (Paper clips are good and these are the cute colored ones! I was given a donation of office items and I know someone needs them, but who?)

Please, please forgive me for cutting you down just when you had gotten beautiful.

I went outside this morning thinking it would clear my mind and give me a better perspective. I ended up pruning a beautiful bush that had finally gotten full size and was bearing beautiful yellow flowers. Unfortunately it is planted right next to our AC unit and is a constant frustration to the men who service it. A beautiful plant in the wrong place, along with countless others in the overgrown acre I call home. That didn’t help my perspective much.

And even as the husband and I prayed over our day, I let him do most of the talking. Today I am just not in touch with the part of my brain that houses joy. It keeps me from being relational with God and with others. I kind of shut down. I’m not proud of it. I’m just tired and ruined and feeling my humanness, if that’s a word. My own superficial problems, the problems of those I love, the disease and fighting in the world, the homeless children, the anger, the injustice – I can’t keep up with it all.

Time is moving fast, and it really is a gift from God that things change. I know I will feel different if I wait long enough, especially if I ask God for help in understanding where I fit in. There is a reason, a purpose for my being here in this place, at this time. Even as uncomfortable as it is to be revealing my gloomy self in a post, there is probably something behind the urge I felt to write this way. Even in this state of mind I know these things.

There is a God, there is a Jesus and nothing anyone says or thinks adequately explains them away.

There is real evidence that what I need to know about him is given to me in scripture.

Scripture tells me and my experience bears it out, that he is good and powerful and loves me.

I am safer with him, no matter what circumstances look like, than anywhere else.

And for now, on this dark, rainy day, I will keep those things in mind as I search for some meaningful activity to dispel the gloom. My precious daughter in Seattle turns to housecleaning when she feels oppressed, so I will too and there’s no shortage of things to clean around here… just sayin’.

Love this creative reproduction…

September 16, 2015September 16, 2015 Shirleyjdietz3 Comments

Pottery of a different sort... — Pottery of a different sort…

I’ve often wanted to work in clay, but the closest I’ve gotten to that is to collect interesting pieces of pottery. This is one that I love from an artist I encountered at a bluegrass festival in north Georgia. I put it on my table every fall.

Warning: I’m Thinking

September 16, 2015September 16, 2015 ShirleyjdietzLeave a comment

This post was prompted by a cartoon I saw on a T shirt. Three horses, wide eyed. The first one “What if that stick moved?!” The second one, “What if it didn’t move?!” The third one, “Let’s spook!” I am a bit spooky at times.

A long time ago, back in Wisconsin when I was a young mother, I got a pastoral visit from my minister. He listened patiently to my angst about hearing from God. I didn’t have a handle on how an invisible God who says He is always with me could give me directions. When all those people in the Bible heard voices telling them what to do (think “go to a mountain and sacrifice your son” type of message…) were they really hearing a spoken voice, or the voice in their head? And if it was that voice in their head, was it more than just a feeling or a conviction? How did they know it was God and not just themselves remembering a nightmare (think “go against this vast army with 100 of your best men” type of message…)? I had children to raise. I needed to know.

This is what he told me. “You think too much.”

Well, just like a person who thinks too much, I’ve been thinking about this for years. It was a very observant assessment.

I read a story about a person who was about to board a flight with their family. As they were lining up to traverse the jetway they got the message to not go, from God. They were Christians and evidently in very close communication with their heavenly Father so they didn’t board the plane. The plane crashed and all on it were killed. I think about this frequently, actually every time I get on a plane, and wonder if I would have the guts to waste a ticket that I’ve paid dearly for based on a gut feeling that I shouldn’t get on the plane. How weird would that be? Then I wonder if the fact that I’m thinking about it, is God telling me to do it. Then I get on the plane and fly to where ever it is I’m going.

The good thing that I’ve learned about God is that he knows me better than I know myself. I’ve seen the things he’s made and figured out so my confidence in his genius leadership has developed. After all, if he’s taken on responsibility for all these people who sign up to be on his team, he must be one awesome, amazing leader. Does he know I think too much? Yes. Does he know how to get me to do something? Probably. When I’m willing to follow orders will he leave me wondering? I don’t think so. If I’m not supposed to be on the plane, he will send someone to drag me off. He made me. He knows me. He loves me even when I think too much.

I”m just sayin’, if he weren’t that awesome, he wouldn’t be God.

How to Feed Horses

September 11, 2015September 11, 2015 ShirleyjdietzLeave a comment

I often visit Dr. Julia in Jacksonville and have adventures as Vet Ma, helping with horse chores and riding truck with her as she does her rounds. The area has had more rain this season than it has in 40 years according to the older generation. The pasture where she keeps her four horses is a sea of mud.

!. Arrive at pasture. Try not to get truck stuck in the mud.

2. Squeeze size 9.5 feet into daughter’s size 8 boots.

3. Wade to feed room. Fill two buckets with grain.

4. Wade to pasture. Approach small herd of excited, rowdy horses eagerly waiting to be fed. Try not to be anxious.

5. Put halter on old lady horse so she can be fed by herself outside the pasture. Try not to let her drag you through gate. Try to stay clean. Try not to be anxious. Try to shut gate.

6. Don’t let old lady horse knock over pail and eat grain meant for other horses. Scoop up spilled grain. Grab her and get her to her own pail.

7. Catch other three horses who have gone through open gate while you were catching old lady horse. Try not to panic. Try to keep them from eating grain meant for old horse.

8. Make a big deal about grain you still have left in pail. Wade out in pasture to feeding trough and hope horses follow. Dump grain in trough, make lots of noise doing it. Try to keep clean. Try to remain calm.

9. Get out of way when horses stampede to feeding trough. Try to remain upright in mud. Forget about clean.

10. Forget about feeding old lady horse by herself. She’s eatiing. Take halter off. Get back to gate, shut it.

11. Return pails to feed room. Remove muddy boots. Breathe sigh of relief.

Thank You for the Reminder

September 4, 2015September 4, 2015 Shirleyjdietz3 Comments

Since leaving Seattle I have been bereft (nice word) of a much treasured pair of earrings. Not to make this another “lost jewelry” story I am skipping right to the part this morning where I found them in a pocket as I was preparing clothes to go into the washer. (And it’s another string of stories were I to tell of all the things I’ve washed before I started checking pockets consistently.) As I was feeling a rush of gratitude and relief inwardly, a song that I had not sung for fifty years came to my mind and out of my mouth. Not only the complicated melody with the harmonies in my head, but also all the words!

I was probably 15 or 16 and in the upper stages of 4-H in my rural community. Every summer the state fair in Milwaukee hosted the state 4-H chorus and orchestra and had them perform in midway programs. My friend and I decided to be brave and audition. I don’t think either one of us had ever tried out for anything but we both took piano lessons and were in the high school chorus so it was worth a try.

I remember the audition. We had to travel to a nearby town and wait our turn to go into the room with the chorus director. He talked with me a bit and then had me read some music and match some pitches with my voice. I don’t remember if I actually sang anything, but probably. Then the long wait until a letter in the mail informed me that I’d been accepted into the alto section of the chorus. I was stoked.

The time came a month or so later to make the trip to Milwaukee, a good six hours away, for the four day experience at the state fair. The chorus was a large group, close to 100 I’m guessing, and they were all strangers to me – coming from all parts of the state of Wisconsin. We were housed in a dorm of some kind, but my memory is dim on that aspect probably because we didn’t spend much time doing anything but singing.

The first two days were non-stop practice. All the songs were unfamiliar, ambitious choral pieces. We sang until we were worried we would have no voice left. The words and melodies were burned into our minds until no printed music was needed and all our attention was on the director. I fell in love with the power of being part of a responsive group and having such amazing music pulled out of us by a skilled leader. I fell in love with the music itself and have since found those pieces and used them again.

As often happens, something small, and relatively insignificant triggered this memory and brought the words to one of the songs back to me this morning.

“Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation and uphold me, uphold me with thy free Spiriit, thy free Spirit. Then will I teach transgressors thy way, and sinners shall be converted unto thee.”

The words are from Psalm 51:12, 13. Several songs from our program were from scripture references and there was nothing politically incorrect about doing that in those days. I don’t know how it would go today. We performed on two different days and enjoyed the state fair in between our times on stage. It was an experience of great value for me.

I am not saying that the joy of finding lost jewelry compares to the joy of God’s eternal salvation. But I think that anytime God allows us a joy of any proportion he likes it to remind us of what He has done, and is doing, and will do. Just sayin’, I am reminded and grateful today.

These rascals were hiding again... — These rascals were hiding again…

These Thoughts Make Me Happy

September 3, 2015September 3, 2015 Shirleyjdietz1 Comment

“Just after the climax of the trilogy The Lord of the Rings , Sam Gamgee discovers that his friend Gandalf was not dead (as he thought) but alive. He cries, “I thought you were dead! But then, I thought I was dead myself! Is everything sad going to come untrue?” The answer of Christianity to that question is – yes. Everything sad is going to come untrue and it will somehow be greater for having once been broken and lost.”

and…

“The Biblical view of things is resurrection – not a future that is just a consolation for the life we never had but a restoration of the life you always wanted. This means that every horrible thing that ever happened will not only be undone and repaired but will in some way make the eventual glory and joy even greater.” Both quotes above from Tim Keller in Reasons for God

and…

“They say of some temporal suffering, “No future bliss can make up for it,” not knowing that Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory.” C. S. Lewis

Other than blotting out our memories, this is the only way I can think of, that God could promise to wipe away all tears. That’s what restoration means.

The Inedible Results

August 31, 2015August 31, 2015 Shirleyjdietz2 Comments

Sometimes I travel for a couple weeks at a time. The husband usually stays home. Now if I wanted to hide something from him, I could put it almost anywhere and he wouldn’t find it. But if I really, really didn’t want him to find it I would put it in the refrigerator, in the vegetable drawer. ‘Nuff said.

Walking Seattle the Last Time (this trip)

August 26, 2015July 7, 2020 Shirleyjdietz1 Comment

Charlie seems to enjoy stair climbing. Maybe he does. Well, maybe he doesn't. I don't know.

Charlie and I visited all the stairs we have discovered on the West Seattle slopes. You can’t live here without becoming very familiar with staircases and crazy steep streets. See what I mean…

from Schmitz Park up to Admiral Street, 80 steps

SW Stevens St. with a staircase at the end...

At the end of SW Stevens to the plateau on the top.

Nicely groomed staircase to someone's house

Seriously, some residents park on the street and climb up to their houses...

The slopes rise so steeply that houses are hardly ever on the same level as the street...

a little explanation helps, - at least we know who to blame.

All things considered, I have to say that the stairs of Seattle are more scenic and inspiring than the stair climbers at the gym, and every bit as much exercise. Would you climb these steps just to see what’s at the top? I did.

Am I Done Being a Slave to “Stuff”?

LinkAugust 25, 2015April 6, 2016 Shirleyjdietz5 Comments

For some time now, the husband and I have been thinking about downsizing life in general, and our housing in particular. The Oneacrewoods is a beautiful property and because it has two houses it is economical to rent one of them and live in the other. We have enjoyed living there for twenty plus years […]

People Go There in the Morning too?

August 22, 2015August 22, 2015 ShirleyjdietzLeave a comment

I go to Alki Beach quite a bit at evening, as do lots of other people, but who knew that people wake up and go there in the morning too? It’s a couple blocks away from the house and I don’t usually want to wait that long for the first coffee of the day. This morning I practiced delayed gratification and walked to coffee. There are four or five coffee shops in the short stretch along the beach (because this is Seattle…) but I go to the one farthest away because my daughter would consider joining me later at this one. She gets coffee that comes from a particular farm in a particular country (more on that later) while I ask if they have Folgers.

All kinds of things were happening this morning, the most interesting being an open water boat race of some sort. I got there just minutes before the starting horn so boats were lining up along some imaginary line which wasn’t very straight. I guess they were going quite a distance so a few feet here and there wasn’t going to matter. Anything that could be paddled was eligible for this trek across the sound to a rock near some island and back again. Naturally, the scullers took off in the lead and the poor guys on paddleboards were bringing up the rear. It’s a cool, gray day with a light chop on the water and mist in the air.

Cyclists are out. Families with children wanting donuts are straggling in. Seattle dogs are out in numbers. The weekend is here. Happy Saturday everyone!