Good morning and I’m thinking about you as I sit in a quiet house having the morning’s first cup of coffee in “your mug”, the one you didn’t want to send off to Good Will when you moved. I’m saving it for you. I like it too.
I just want to tell you that I feel so blessed, at my age, to be able to write a letter to my mom and have her be able to read it. A lot of people don’t get the chance. That you are still here is partly because you are not that much older than I am, only 18 years, and partly because you navigated the storms of life pretty well. You probably don’t feel like you did it all intentionally but you did make many simple decisions to be patient, to be faithful, to not worry, to work, to ask for help, to trust others, to love and to be flexible. They all add up.
And now we are in a different season. For the first time since you were a teenager, you are exploring who you are by yourself. Once again, I am so amazed at your ability to try things and come to conclusions about them. While many who lose a spouse would retreat and let themselves be forgotten, instead you are reaching out to your family and friends and being a part of their lives. You’ve concluded that you don’t like to be living alone – a good thing to know. I am so looking forward to spending time with you again, not just to visit, but to have those longer shared experiences.
Now that my own children are out of the house and working on their lives and careers, it is a comfort to me to know that you have been through that part of motherhood. You’ve seen us kids make bad decisions, go through tough times, lose people we love, wrestle with faith, take risks. You lived through it, and because of that I know I can too.
I’ve always wanted to spend more time with you – you were a fun mom – but even more so as I became aware of you as an interesting person, not just a mom. I loved interviewing you a couple years ago and finding out details of your early years with your own parents and siblings. As someone who reads and recognizes a good story, I realized I was hearing one. There is a tendency as a child to think you know your parents, after all you grew up with them. What it really means is that they know you much better than you know them. I look forward to learning more about you.
I will see you in less than a week. We will talk, share our morning coffee times, read together, do a jigsaw puzzle or two, take some pictures of us together, sort through life, laugh, remember…. I look forward to it. So grateful for the time. Love you Mom.