Last Day in Cambodia – Thoughts in the Car

We had another gigantic breakfast buffet at the Secret Restaurant this morning before leaving Veranda Natural Resort. We are now in a rented van driving to Phnom Penh where we will spend a few hours before boarding our flight home. It is still raining.

We were told that there has been no rain and the land was in drought condition until last week when this new weather pattern started. The countryside we are driving through is sodden, flooded, covered in mist. Periodically, I take out my camera and get some shots out the side window. There are rice paddies with lots of water in them and rice in various stages of growth. Sometimes a person will be visible planting rice or working with a cow or two pulling a plow through the water, but most people must be inside somewhere. The people on the road are wearing raincoats or they are wet.

I am sitting in back with the luggage. Julie, Trish and Bora are sitting ahead of me where Bora is entertaining them with tales of her life in Cambodia. The Hamilton family is in the next row. MacKenzie is not feeling well and they have put her in the middle where she can look out at the horizon in front to offset any car sickness. Mike is up front with the driver. In Cambodia you don’t jut rent a van. You rent a van and a driver, which ensures the van gets returned to its home and you get to your destination in one piece, I guess.

I’m feeling a bit “out of it” today. In spite of my aromatherapy massage yesterday, I don’t feel well groomed or like I’ve been taking care of myself. I’m all out of clean clothes. I can stand it but don’t know how it will affect those around me during the long flight home. I’m not used to seeing myself in as many pictures as I’ve been in lately, and frankly it’s alarming me to see how I look. I’m older than I thought I was. I need to go home and lose some weight.

The children I’ve been with are affectionate kids – lots of hugging, hand holding, arms around my shoulders or waist – but they are also very curious. They always find the mole on my upper arm and can amuse themselves touching it for minutes at a time. They also run their hands over the bulges around my waist, or what used to be my waist, and find that very interesting (???). It’s not that all Cambodians are skinny because I have seen some that aren’t, but most of the Asia Hope people are slim. Add to this the fact that my feet and legs swell in this heat and you have me feeling very puffy and large when I’m around them. Even though I’ve come here four times now, I never seem to have the clothing thing right either. I need some more quick dry things that I can keep clean. I need to bring a little laundry soap with me.

Emotionally, I feel a little isolated. There is no one on the trip who identifies with me in age or has need of me in any way. It would be a lot worse if I didn’t have Julie with me here because we have done a lot of things together, but she has also made a lot of friends closer to her age. Does everyone have these attacks of pity where they feel absolutely no one is interested in them? Probably. I’m used to them and am just working on giving it to God and asking him to change me.