Last night someone asked me a question about a past event in our lives, when did it happen, what year? I’m not good at answering those questions. Time goes by too fast for me. I’m always thinking some great memorable time was just last year until I realize that two or three years have really gone by since it happened. So I try to journal, keep calendars, write letters… anything to rehearse events and the dates that they happened. I still don’t remember them very well but I have the written record in most cases. I looked in all those places last night and didn’t get the answer to the question, which was, “what year did the horse, Ghost, come down to Florida from Wisconsin”? I had to message my daughter and get the answer from her.
But, oh the fun I had looking for it! I have one journal in particular that I wrote in, off and on, for over ten years while my children were young. There are so many descriptions of them, and life with them from my perspective. Having such a poor memory I really value those writings. I suppose the memories are in my head somewhere but reading about what happened kind of drags the thoughts out where I can think them again. I guess that’s what memory is. I’ve also been looking at a lot of old pictures of family and our lives in various places since my “barn window project” and that has been a similar experience down memory interstate (it’s not a lane anymore).
The most remarkable thing for me was to see how my feelings about some things have changed over the years. Specifically, I see how hanging in there has paid off for me in so many ways (my work, my marriage, my faith). I am glad that in those moments of temptation, despair, trouble of one kind or another, that I had a reason to persist and a purpose to fulfill. Faithfullness is one of my favorite words and to me, it is a description of God’s character much more than my own. Given time, he is always proven to be faithful. I think he gives us the past to prove that.