I have to say that things have begun to change for me already, but that will continue. Since last August I have been following an inner directive to be free for helping my immediate family should they need it. There are extended times in the ordinary progression of life when everyone is on the young side, fairly healthy, moving forward and enjoying independence. And then there are those other times that are not all those same things. If the family is like a wagon train heading across the plain, there are times when they need to circle the wagons. That’s a bit of what I feel.
Time is not a limitless commodity. I want to make conscious decisions where I spend my time and who I spend it with. As much as I love and appreciate my present friends and my community, I kind of arrived here out of financial necessity. And time spent here has been good, but I am also blessed that I love to spend time with my family, every one of them. They are all people I would choose to spend time with, lots of time. Instead, it’s been limited to a week here and there while on vacation, a reunion every few years, sometimes a holiday celebrated together. I am ready to choose a closer connection.
That being said, I don’t really know where I’ll be a year from now. Hey, but until I’m ready to do it, I don’t have to worry about where I’m going. I just have to get ready to go somewhere. The husband and I have made great progress toward this – at least I’m proud of us. Every week we get rid of some of our “stuff” that would not be worth taking with us. We are both thinking about our present jobs and how our work would continue in a different place. I jumped the hurdle of signing up for my social security benefits yesterday (believe me, it was a mental/emotional HURDLE). I am scaling back on commitments I make and not jumping into new ones. I am waiting to see what God will do with my readiness. And there is a peace in not knowing the timing but just doing one thing at a time as the possibilities become apparent.