This is somewhat of a sensitive subject and I want to convey the most important (to me) things about it clearly. Why do we make ourselves known to other people? I was asking myself the question because of an incident – someone sharing a bit of their life with me – and the path it led me down.
The path starts here. When the aforementioned person made an effort to communicate this week, and it was an effort, I felt like I’d been given a gift of sorts. It was a case of difficulty being overcome by the necessity of showing love. And that’s what it is when we open ourselves up, being as honest as we can, and become better known by another person. It is love in action.
I’m kind of a quiet person at home. There are just the two of us, my husband and myself, and it’s my perception that he does most of the talking. He tells me all about the phone calls he’s had at work, all about the pieces of music they’re playing in band and who came and who’s fighting with who. He talks about whatever he’s watching on TV and whatever he’s thinking about. All this in spite of the fact that he talks on the phone most of the day at work too. I guess it’s because his mind is always on something and it’s difficult to switch gears. Face to face talks make him feel like he has to get a response together and deliver it. He’s told me that often when he’s listening to a person he’s thinking about what he’s going to say next, which is only half listening at best. So I don’t go out of my way to make myself known to the only person God has paired me with for a lifetime. This is not to say that we never have meaningful conversations, but they fall short and seldom get to the “soulmate” level. I’m not proud of this. Would it be love in action for me to work to better this situation? Probably. Definitely. Just talk to him more. Confide. Lean on him some and be less independent.
We’re nearing the end of the path – it has a discovery at the end of it. I started realizing that it’s easier for me to write what I feel and think, like in this blog. It’s true, I have to make myself do it and work at what I say, but having made the committment I find that it’s becoming kind of a pleasant habit. And guess who reads me almost as soon as I’ve written? Yes, my husband. And it’s different for him when he reads what I’m thinking. He’s visual and focused on what he reads. I’m not there to talk to so he’s not thinking about what he’s going to say. He comes home and mentions stuff I’ve written and it feels good. I can tell he’s read my stories and enjoyed my communication (most of the time). People take things in differently. I should have figured this out thirty plus years ago. It’s kind of a neat little gem, don’t you think? The End.