Riverbend Farm, Day 4

This is the beginning of my fourth day, visiting in North Carolina. Everything is going pretty well.

Yesterday was exciting because I rode a horse again. There has been a period of time when I’ve stayed off horses. It ‘s because it seemed like the risk of injury was real and unnecessary. I felt the same way when I quit water skiing after nearly pulling my arms out of their sockets. But yesterday, I wanted to ride Andi. He is a beautiful gelding who used to be my horse and now lives with Julie on her farm. He’s been ridden much more regularly lately and there were four others going on this ride. It was on Riverbend property and all the horses are used to these trails. It felt safe. And it was fun. Andi is still quite energetic but he behaved well. It’s nice to not feel “too old” to do something I’ve always loved to do.

Where are my cowboy boots? I don’t know…

Some reflections on being two years old (not that I remember it personally):

Gwennie is 2, and in many ways I feel sorry for the stage she struggles with. It has to be hard. She is now so aware of herself as a separate person from her caregivers and parents. She has learned to say “no”, just for the feeling of power it embodies. But she’s still too inexperienced to know the good reasons for saying “yes” to many things. 

Today she always says “yes” to ice cream, fruit snacks, and watching Bluey on any available screen. Tomorrow it may be different. 

When she gives her attention to a person speaking to her, she looks at them seriously. You can see her focusing on what is being said. She is on task, learning what language is for. Because of that, her ability to speak has jumped tremendously since the last time I saw her. 

She has learned how to beg, saying “please” with just the right wheedling inflection. Inflection and body language are not lost on her. We don’t know when or from whom she learned to stomp her foot when she’s mad and saying no, but she’s got that down too. 

She has to be desperate before she asks for help with tasks she thinks she can do. She anticipates people stepping in to help. She often tells me “no Mimi, don’t help me” before I even think of helping her. I would describe her as “rough and tumble”, athletic and a risk taker. Last year when I visited, she would only spend a minute or two in the swing before being done. The motion seemed to make her dizzy and uncomfortable. Now, she climbs in the swing herself, buckles her own safety straps and wants a “big push”. There is always a lot of laughing and squealing for joy. 

How would you get yourself up into something at armpit level? She did it.

These first few days she has almost seemed resentful of me. She has not wanted me hold her. She says no to almost everything I ask her to do. She clearly prefers mommy, daddy, her siblings and Emma to me every time there’s a choice. That’s gradually changing, mostly because I don’t try to get her to do anything. I sit and watch Lassie with her. 

She runs most of the time.  She has more blue jeans than I do. She wears cowboy boots. Her “princess hat” is a brown, winter sherpa with ear flaps. But she has learned to sit still while daddy puts rubber bands in her messy, blonde hair.

She has learned to pretend. She takes daddy’s order for pizza, puts some in his hand, and takes his imaginary money. I know that’s not how I learned to pretend, but times have clearly changed. She plays alone in her bed, putting moose and frog down for a nap and covering them. She has her private places where she plays and sings to herself.

Watching all these things happening is fascinating and thought provoking. I am seeing how a child soaks up everything in their environment, for better or worse. I am seeing how important parenting is. 

Kevin and Julie are at their jobs already. Emma (super nanny) is playing with Gwennie. I think my task for today will be getting ready for Wednesday. A friend from Hayward is coming down to visit me and the family, and get a taste of North Carolina. My friend is a man, close to my age, and yes, we have been getting acquainted for the last nine months. I haven’t been writing about our experiences because I wasn’t ready to write. Maybe I am a little more ready now. More to come.

Ride: Epic Moves for Building Relationships

Riding of any kind can be an opportunity for building relationships. There’s usually an element of being captive for hours of togetherness. I’m thinking of the road trip I took with daughter Esther from Atlanta to Seattle, in a small SUV packed to the roof with the remains of a household and two large dogs. It was epic.

And epic is my favorite word when it comes to activities that build relationship, because the more epic it is the more memorable. At the end of an epic event, I am usually bonded for years to come with my companions. This was definitely the case in my ride across the state of Florida with daughter Julia, on horseback. It was the Cracker Trail Ride of 2007. Epic.

We survived the Cracker Trail together.

The Cracker Trail was the route that Florida cowboys drove cattle to the Gulf Coast for shipping in the late 1800’s. Central Florida has a large cattle industry even today so there is lots of interest in keeping history alive with the yearly Trail Ride. The route is 120 miles.

I tried to do this ride in 2006 on a borrowed horse and only got about a mile from the start when the horse insisted on being the first in line (not allowed), and seized up when I wouldn’t let him. He was an old race track pony horse and just couldn’t understand that trail ride business. He got put in a trailer and taken back. I was disappointed.

The next year I had my own horse, Andy. Julia had one of her horses, Fea. We had a two horse trailer and a fancy black truck to pull it. We, and a couple hundred of our friends and acquaintances, spent the next five days riding from Bradenton, Florida to Fort Pierce on our horses. We camped in tents at night, in the fields of some of the large ranches in central Florida. There was a chuck wagon that served meals and usually some kind of fun activity or socializing each evening.

Every morning, after breakfast we would pack up camp, saddle up and ride until noon. At our lunch stop a bus would take drivers back to their vehicles and trailers. We would drive ahead to the next campsite and then take the bus back to the lunch stop, where we would again get on the horse and ride the rest of the afternoon. Logistically, it was pretty well planned. At times we rode on major highway right-of-ways, but often it was on ranch property.

Neither of us had ever ridden all day for five days in a row, so it took a day or so for us to get hardened in. We had been trying to get the horses ready for the event, but it was extreme for them too – not only the distance but the crowd of other horses, wagons, and road traffic. We (both us and the horses) were a little nervous the first day. Poor Andy got a red bow tied on his tail to warn others that he might kick if they got too close.

As I said, it was an epic trip for me. Having that once-in-a-lifetime adventure with my daughter gave so much opportunity to learn, to be challenged in our abilities, to succeed at something unusual. It was worth every minute, but it was hard. We were glad and ready to head home at the end of the ride.

Significant relationships are built in small ways, day by day, and that is great. But it is very important, when opportunity allows, to do something special. Maybe it is something challenging, or extravagant, or luxurious or as sometimes happens, something very miserable – but it will be memorable and talked about for a long time. Getting through escapades like this with your children adds so much to the relationship with them. You are investing time and money in an experience with them, and that speaks volumes. And the payback is pretty good – I wouldn’t trade my memories of that ride for anything.

#AtoZChallenge: My Favorite Things H

Horses

This will be a short post because I can’t think of a way to explain the irrational love that I (and many other women) have for horses. I liken it to the way that a man will throw money at something like a boat that is seldom used, for I seldom have time or opportunity to be with my horse.

I have been scared near to death on a horse,

injured on a horse,

frustrated nearly to the end of patience by a horse,

money poor because of a horse,

and yet I love horses.

And though, unlike boats, they can get sick and die, also unlike boats they are living and can love you back. They are a bit like people – some handsome, some not so much, some with great personalities, some a little cranky – all kinds of apt comparisons. If you’re at the right end, they smell really nice, like fresh hay and they have wonderfully soft noses. That’s some of it, but like I said, it doesn’t really explain it all.

I have posted this sequence before but it was fun (funny) and I love to relive it.

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Ghost want to go for a ride? No? This looks like a belt and I think I need it to be tight. Don’t be holding your breath now…

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Yeah, I’m on. Nice horsey, you knew that’s what was happening so don’t act all surprised. Nice horsey, let’s go.

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You are so pretty and white. I am red and blue. We look so red, white and blue together. I make you look good, don’t I? Smile for the camera please.

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Round and round the track we go – and you lift your feet so pretty.

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We are so cool, and I am still firmly in the saddle and hoping to stay that way.

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Good ride Ghost. Now let’s get back to the barn before something bad happens…

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Whaaa!!! Getting off is supposed to be the easy part! Gimme my shirt back!

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That was embarrassing. I’m outta here. Don’t pretend you’re sad.

Sew What?!

Back in t he old days, we had to learn to sew.  Everyone took one semester of sewing in high school, and it was a popular project in 4-H. Some people even made a lot of their own clothes (me)! Since then I’ve made quite a few things and worn out a couple of sewing machines in the process. I’ve made home decor projects, several wedding dresses, baby clothes, doll clothes, but I haven’t often sewn horse clothes. Well maybe not clothes, but accessories would be a better label for this project.  Some horses just want to stand around looking pretty, you know?

It started when my friend and former employer decided to adopt three Freisian horses. They are beautiful animals and have done carriage pulling for a lot of their careers. They are semi-retired now and have the “life of Riley” (they have it pretty sweet, for those of you who don’t know Riley. Come to think of it, I don’t even know Riley, but I know what it means.) My friend also has a lot of horse art and in looking at one of her wall paintings she began imagining her own charges looking just like the horses in the picture. wp-1466703198542.jpgClearly, some horse capes were needed. With tassels, please. I decided to take the job.

I have been to the stable and met my models and measured them. They are sweet animals and on the large side.  I have been trying to imagine how to sew their capes ever since. It’s just a rectangle, you say, how can it be hard?  I will tell you. There is a lot going on when a horse walks and this piece of cloth has to stay on and not scare the horse, or anyone for that matter. It has to be durable, comfortable, and in this case not terribly expensive. All these things add to the complexity of the project.

I initially spent time on the internet looking for suitable fabric because there aren’t a lot of fabric stores to visit. It wasn’t going well. Fabric is ridiculously expensive in our country, and as I said, these are big horses – lot of yardage. Then luck happened and the only fabric store left in my town went out of business and put most of their stuff on sale at 60% off. The fabric and tassels were there. The purchase was approved. I’m now sewing. This is probably one of my weirdest projects, just sayin’.

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At the barn…

The sky is getting dark. I expect an afternoon storm. The heat has been overwhelming and we could use some cooling down. Earlier I walked through the field looking for a fly mask one of the horses had lost. I found it but also found so many interesting plants that I could not stop photographing them.

I suppose they are actually weeds, because we would prefer to have grass growing there. But I had to appreciate them for what they are, beautifully and intricately designed. The field is a wild garden that is every bit as fascinating as the ones I’ve admired in people’s yards.

Be glad you can look at it vicariously, in pictures because, like I said, it was really hot out there. I’m glad for the breeze, the clouds, and the thunder. Just sayin’…

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My Daughter’s Horse and I

A visual sequence that brings good times and a great horse to mind…

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Ghost want to go for a ride? No? This looks like a belt and I think I need it to be tight. Don’t be holding your breath now…

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Yeah, I’m on. Nice horsey, you knew that was going to happen so don’t act all surprised. Nice horsey, let’s go.

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Round and round the track we go – you lift your feet so pretty and I haven’t fallen off. We’re good.

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We are so cool, and I am still firmly in the saddle. Let’s keep it that way, thanks.

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You are so pretty and white. I am red and blue. We look so red, white and blue together. I make you look good, don’t I? Smile for the camera please.

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Good ride Ghost. Now let’s get back to the barn before something bad happens…

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Whaaa!!! Getting off is supposed to be the easy part! Gimme my shirt back!

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That was embarrassing. I’m outta here. Don’t pretend you’re sad.

I really do have fun riding and am not quite as fall phobic as I make myself out to be. And Ghost was always a good horse. RIP 5-11-2016

Legacy: A Horse Called Ghost

Love, whether or animals or people, involves risk.  Let me amend that, love involves the certainty of pain and eventual loss, always. Because we know that, every moment that we spend with each other or with a “quasi-human” pet should be filled with awareness and appreciation of life. Over a lifespan, the love we enjoy far outweighs the pain of separation. It leaves us enriched, more experienced, and better able to process what we know will come.

For some reason many of us as children were fascinated by the idea of sitting on a horse. Our mothers set us up on the horse of our choice on the carousel.  Maybe we got to ride a real pony around in a circle at the fair. We read Black Beauty, and watched My Friend Flicka. I did all these things. So did my children.

For many of us the fascination wears off. We discover that real horses are bigger than we thought, and stronger than we knew, and less inclined to be caught and gently led, let alone ridden.  But for some, like my daughter Julia, the dream goes on, and if horse ownership is denied for lack of money, time or any other practical reason, the dream builds pressure until it explodes.  And so, a horse entered the life of our family and had effects that are still in operation today.

Julia, her sister Esther, and I had ridden and worked at a small stable in northern Wisconsin for several summers when the owner brought in a new string of horses she had bought in Minnesota. They had to be ridden a lot and carefully gauged for their trustworthiness before any of the “dudes” were put on them. The owner, Miss Lolly, had one that was her favorite – a nearly white quarter horse mare she called Ghost.  She rode her most of the time but occasionally one of her better outriders were asked if they wanted to try her. That was the summer Julia fell in love with Ghost.  The next year she bought her, one payment at a time, with her own money.

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Julie and Ghost in their first parade, Hayward, Wisconsin.

Logistically, it was crazy. We had moved to Florida and had no place for a horse. So Ghost lived in Wisconsin on Lolly’s farm and she and Julia continued to work together in the summer. But the time came when school and work made the summer trips up north shorter and Julia missed her horse. It was time for Ghost to come to Florida.

We knew little to nothing about trailering a horse over that distance. Our borrowed one-horse trailer was hitched behind a mini-van, of all things, and I have pictures of our travel arrangement that make me wonder how we ever made it. The roughly 30 hour trip had one overnight, as I recall, and lots of stops where we would check on Ghost’s water and hay.  Only once did we actually take her out of the trailer briefly and let her walk around at a country exit off the interstate. I think we were worried we wouldn’t be able to get her back in.

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Ghost with the new filly Fea.

She made it to Florida and to Springrock Farm where she spent a number of years with J.C. Barnhill watching over her.  Julie’s regular trips to care for Ghost benefited the horse but also furthered Julie’s interest as she learned how to trim hooves, care for horse teeth, and feed and exercise horses.  One of the biggest surprises was when it was discovered that Ghost had come to Florida in foal.  Rocker, a pretty paint colt was added to the family.  Several years later Ghost was bred to Barnhill’s thoroughbred stallion, Officer, and had a filly.  Julie named her Fea, and although she came out brown, she soon was the spitting image of her mom.  The family was a herd of three.

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Left to right: Fea, Rocker and Mama Ghost in festive dress.

The family spent time at several other properties as the years unfolded, always necessitating Julie to travel daily to watch over, feed and ride. They were her charges, her dependents. Her knowledge and interest in veterinary care of large animals increased and ultimately led her to enter the DVM program at UF, Gainesville.  Ghost and the family moved to a small farm there for four years.  The next move was to Jacksonville, FL where Dr. Julia began her job with Jacksonville Equine.  At the small boarding pasture where her herd now lived, Dr. J. had to deal with Ghost’s problems of advancing age, especially weight loss and inability to compete with other horses for feed.  The last few months were a triumph for Ghost and Dr. J. as Ghost was healthy, energetic and looking well nourished.  Only a few weeks ago Dr. J. and some friends took her on a trail ride with Rocker and Fea and all did well.

We’ve all heard of the benefits of having pets. There Is even more to a long term, committed relationship to the care and welfare of an animal. It is much like parenting, in that patience is learned, along with so many other skills. Love is practiced through good times and bad. Faithfulness has its demands for both owner and animal. Those demands, decisions and courses of action can be stressful and sudden.

A week ago Ghost had a medical emergency, colic, another name for equine bowel obstruction. It could not be resolved with initial treatment and Dr. J. took her quickly to the UF vet hospital for diagnosis and ultimately, surgery. Given every chance, Ghost was still unable to survive. She has been laid to rest in a quiet corner of her pasture and will not be forgotten.

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Ghost, may you be in pastures where the grass is always green and fresh…

How to Feed Horses

wpid-20150911_081915.jpgI often visit Dr. Julia in Jacksonville and have adventures as Vet Ma, helping with horse chores and riding truck with her as she does her rounds.  The area has had more rain this season than it has in 40 years according to the older generation. The pasture where she keeps her four horses is a sea of mud.

 !. Arrive at pasture.  Try not to get truck stuck in the mud.

2. Squeeze size 9.5 feet into daughter’s size 8 boots.

3. Wade to feed room. Fill two buckets with grain.

4. Wade to pasture.  Approach small herd of excited, rowdy horses eagerly waiting to be fed. Try not to be anxious.

5. Put halter on old lady horse so she can be fed by herself outside the pasture.  Try not to let her drag you through gate. Try to stay clean. Try not to be anxious.  Try to shut gate.

6. Don’t let old lady horse knock over pail and eat grain meant for other horses. Scoop up spilled grain. Grab her and get her to her own pail.

7. Catch other three horses who have gone through open gate while you were catching old lady horse. Try not to panic.  Try to keep them from eating grain meant for old horse.

8. Make a big deal about grain you still have left in pail. Wade out in pasture to feeding trough and hope horses follow.  Dump grain in trough, make lots of noise doing it.  Try to keep clean.  Try to remain calm.

9. Get out of way when horses stampede to feeding trough. Try to remain upright in mud.  Forget about clean.

10. Forget about feeding old lady horse by herself.  She’s eatiing. Take halter off.  Get back to gate, shut it.

11. Return pails to feed room. Remove muddy boots. Breathe sigh of relief.

Take off muddy boots
Take off muddy boots

Try not to get stuck
Try not to get stuck

A Simple Way to Effectively Ruin Your Vet’s Schedule

One of this days
One of this days “added” patients, up and about after surgery.

Having spent a few days with Jacksonville Equine veterinarian Dr. Dietz, I noticed a trend in her business. It goes something like this:

“Hey doc, while you’re here would you mind doing a Coggins on my horse. I just live next door. It will only take a minute…”

Well, as long as you’re here go ahead and float my horse’s teeth if it needs to be done…”

“As long as we knew you were coming, my sister brought her horses over too. Could you vaccinate them as well…”

“Hey, as long as you’re here, do you have time to castrate a goat, or maybe all three of them?”

Several days with only a few known appointments have turned out to be considerably longer days than expected. Some days this is good. Others, not so much. It can be a scheduling nightmare. However, Dr. J is getting good at upselling her services and rarely turns anyone down. Because farms are often far apart it is much easier to do more work in one location and apologize to the next client for being a bit late, than to come back later. The “while you’re here” conversation usually means a savings of time for her and is welcomed.

My unusual experience on this trip was the procedure on the three goats. I’m not going into details here but in general, she is good with the knife and it didn’t take very long at all. One was awake and walking around by the time we left, the other two were still sleeping off the anesthesia. Goats snore.

No, not dead - just sleeping it off, and snoring.
No, not dead – just sleeping it off, and snoring.

The five days I spent in Jacksonville were sunny and beautifully temperate which is different from our usual rainy weekends there. The farms we visited were green grassed and clean. Our own horses were looking sleek and shiny and their pasture was dry, not a sea of mud. I could imagine it being a good place for Dr. J to live and practice.

By the light of the moon…

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Today Dr. Julia had only one appointment and we were going to spend a good part of the day switching her vet box from one truck to another – a process requiring a lot of unloading and reloading and four strong men to do it.  Unfortunately the doc has also been on call all day.  It is now dark and she is still giving shots to Howdy, Whiz, and Li’l Snip.
It’s been a long day and a hard day. The worst of it was euthanizing a sweet little mini who was in severe colic. We shed tears along with the family over that one. Those are not easy decisions to make.
And we have not even started switching trucks. Maybe tomorrow.  Some days are just this unpredictable.

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