Tag: love story

One Year Ago

Shirleyjdietz2 Comments

February 21, 2026. Tomorrow afternoon, I will go to the volunteer appreciation lunch for the Birkie ski race. It was a year ago at the same event that I met Kevin May for the very first time. 

The Birkie volunteer hat for 2025.

I was sitting at a table on the edge of the banquet area, in a large, noisy room. The table was not in a great place for seeing the speaker, so it wasn’t full. I had chosen it because it was close to the door.  Two of my friends from my hiking club had joined me. It was almost time for the serving to start when Kevin came in, looking for a seat. He asked if we were saving chairs for anyone. We weren’t, so he sat and we started talking. It was difficult to hear each other, so he moved to the chair next to mine. 

I had recently gotten on the board of my favorite non-profit. The board was woefully short of members, especially men. I had been praying that God would send some recruits my way. My goal was to ask every male I encountered who might possibly be interested. I figured that maybe this was the guy I should scout out. Fortunately, Kevin is a car salesman and knows how to make conversation with strangers. We talked during the meal almost non-stop. My friends noticed that and remarked to me later. 

I don’t give my number to random men, ever, but there’s always a first time. I offered to give him a tour of the non-profit and handed him my card. He was going to leave Hayward for a month but said he would call when he got back in town. At least I had been brave and done my part. If God had sent him, He would handle the follow through as well. I hate crowds and got out the door quickly when the program was over. I don’t remember saying goodbye.

A couple of days later, to my surprise, Kevin sent a text. He was in Flagstaff, on his way to his daughter’s house. A couple more days and he texted again, this time from Lake Mead. Spread out over the next week were two more texts, and then a phone call. It was beginning to feel like I was being pursued and that was… well, kind of fun. We hadn’t been face to face that afternoon at the table so I couldn’t remember exactly what he looked like.  Naturally I hunted on the internet and found him on LinkedIn. The picture there wasn’t very helpful. We talked a lot over the next couple of weeks. I liked his voice and the attention was addictive.

Did he look like this? I couldn’t remember.

He came back to Hayward at the end of March, and we decided to meet for a walk. He took me to the local cafe afterward for dinner. 

I had lost my husband to Lewy Body dementia the summer of 2023. I had a pretty comfortable life, as a widow and companion for my elderly mom. I hadn’t dated. I hadn’t even thought about dating. I was busy and I had friends. My journal entry for the day of our walk was short and to the point. “Nice man and easy to be with but not my type. There will be no romance.”

I didn’t realize then that this is the way a romance often starts. To be continued.

We Weren’t Good at That

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A continued story…

My Kevin doesn’t “fly off the handle”, and that’s a good thing to know. After our uncomfortable evening driving home in separate cars, he texted me good night as usual. He asked me over for Sunday dinner, which is also a routine we have. But I knew he was thinking things over. 

On Sunday, we had a serious conversation in which he told me he did not feel “equal” to me. When it came to spirituality and faith, he said he probably wouldn’t ever be. I must have mentioned being “unequally yoked” as being one of my concerns at some time. He was getting the point that my faith was the highest priority in my life. He wanted to be honest about how intimidating that felt to him.

I went home in a very somber mood. I decided I couldn’t keep seeing him. I wrote him a letter of explanation, in case I had trouble telling him in person. I asked him to come over the next day. I could tell that he anticipated what I was going to say.

At this point in our relationship we had been dating for nine months. I had so many reasons to love this guy! We had hiked all spring and summer, and helped each other with projects. We had shared dozens of meals, and talked for countless hours. We were going to make Thanksgiving dinner together for our families. We had future plans. We had verbally acknowledged that we liked each other a lot. It was incredibly difficult to give all this up and I cried as I told him my decision. He listened quietly, even patted my hand and told me he knew it was hard. I thought he had come to the same conclusion all by himself. We said goodbye, and he left. 

It turns out that we weren’t very good at breaking up. I became aware of how much I missed him almost from the start. I knew how happy I had been lately, and how sad I was going to be. It was a relief when we started finding small ways to check on each other. I began to hope we would still be friends. It took us a little over a week. By Thanksgiving evening, while talking on the phone, we agreed that what we had done wasn’t working at all. We were done with the misery, because we could be. It wasn’t a hard decision.

Are we “unequally yoked” in our faith? Even more than me, Kevin has always thought that it was more than chance that we met. He does have faith that God can plan relationships between people for their good. We have talked about how God has shown up for us at different times in our lives. My upbringing has blessed me with more biblical literacy than his, but that is not what faith is about. There were a lot of biblical literate people around in Jesus’ day too. Jesus preferred fishermen who had faith in Him. 

In our case, I believe Kevin and I have differences. But it would be foolish to think that God is done with either one of us. I hadn’t asked God for another love relationship and hadn’t expected one. I know I could go without one if that’s what God wanted for me. So, Kevin coming along has been a real surprise to me, at times a little scary. I’ve prayed about it from the start.  I also feel a somewhat miraculous plan behind what we have. God started something, and unless He stops it, I’m in it. I believe that God is actively planning my future, and Kevin’s part in it. I know it’s going to be interesting to see what He does with our differences. 

There will be more about my man, Kevin. I have so many stories…