A Season of Crying


I felt it coming as I was reading that morning, and it did several times. The words on the page set the tone for the whole day. The tears came again as I gave Mom a good morning hug, and again in church, and again as I talked with my friend, and oddly, again when I stopped to “air up” my tires at the WaWa station.

I’m brought into these seasons of crying not by hormone imbalance – that I recognize and this isn’t it. It happens when I realize that I’m on to something important, maybe life changing, certainly life enriching.  It happens when I become aware that I’m learning something, not by my own doing, by through God’s hand, his methods, his inspiration.  It’s so cool, it makes me cry.

Suddenly, I feel kind of raw, hyper-aware of people and circumstances around me.  There is possible meaning, potential meaning in EVERYTHING because I feel God in action and I have no idea what he’s going to do next.

I guess, to start with, I’m just so impressed that he’s dealing with me, on a personal level, giving me something I didn’t have before.  That happened, with the aforementioned book.  Later, the same subject came up with a little more to think about as I listened to the sermon. And the friend thing…  I think it’s pretty common to lose it when a friend who knows you well notices that something is going on. All it took was a sympathetic word and I was crying again.  Sorry Christine (haha, and thanks).

The hyper-awareness part comes when I realize that I’m being taken care of by someone in high places who is listening in on every conversation, every thought and is literally everywhere around me, even as close as the air I breathe. Small favors are no longer coincidences, they are blessings and assurances.

How does the gas station work it’s way in there, you might wonder.  Lately I seem to be searching for air pumps at gas stations all the time.  I felt pretty lucky when I started finding that they accepted credit cards and I didn’t have to hunt for change.  But last Sunday when I pulled into the WaWa, I found an air pump labeled FREE AIR! What unexpected generosity…  It was a sweet machine with good instructions.  It gave me a digital reading for each tire before it pumped it up to the amount I punched in.  And I was crying again because it was cold and raining and I was grateful for something that worked, worked well.

Today, to match this season I’m in, the sky is also crying and I feel somehow aligned with it. We were made to have seasons, the sky and I, and I’m glad for that.  Just sayin’…

lots of tears out there…

How to Find Special Moments

Do you like this picture? Do you think it represents a special moment?
Do you like this picture? Do you think it represents a special moment?

I’ve been in Seattle a while now, taking lots of walks and keeping my eyes open as I go.  There is always something on display.  Lately it has been the sunsets, several of which are on my Instagram collection if you want to see them.

Be curious, set goals

I started thinking about those special moments when we catch an unbelievable photo or have a chance encounter with another person that is significant, or when we realize we have overcome a big hurdle or reached a personal goal.   Last night Charlie and I set out on our evening walk with a goal.  West Seattle has an amazing terrrain and Alki Beach where we always start is at sea level on Puget Sound.  On different occasions I have looked up to a high ridge above us and seen an unusual house with many windows and turrets outlined in white.  I wanted to find it.

Take time, make a plan

I had been giving Charlie (and myself) exercise in the evenings anyway, the difference this time being that we needed to go up instead of walking the along the beach as usual.  Honestly, there are streets here that are so steep you wouldn’t think a car should be driving on them, and they are narrow, twisting and full of parked cars.  I studied my Google earth map and decided which streets might give me the quickest route to the top of the ridge.  It was impossible to know for sure which house was my turret house but I knew a couple of streets to try.

Proceed with eyes wide open

It was a climb, for sure. Charlie was panting and I had to go slow.  We rested when we needed to catch our breath.  I kept looking for the highest streets and ones with a view of the Sound.  I came to a sign indicating a dead end ahead but decided to go a little farther.  Had I not done so I would have missed the photo above.  I could see the sun through a clearing ahead and it was turning the world red.  A blazing trail across the water glowed almost as bright as the sun itself. I noticed the sailboat approaching and hung around taking shots as it moved across that shimmering stripe.  It was a special moment, an unplanned one, and I was so thankful to have caught it.

Don’t stop, expect more

There really is no limit to the amount of surprise and wonder I want in my life.  I hadn’t yet found the turret house so went along the ridge in the opposite direction, up a heartbreaking hill.  I could see no higher area anywhere around but none of the houses I passed were the one I was looking for.  Some other walkers were coming up a flight of steps along the street (yes it was steep enough to make steps instead of sidewalk) and I asked them where they were coming from.  One lady had lived in the neighborhood for over twenty years and when I described what I was looking for she said “Oh, you mean the turret house! My daughter used to babysit there for their kids.”  She told me it was one street over and around a corner.

Savor that accomplishment, no matter how small

I found the house, looked at it as long as I could without being reported as a stalker, and headed home.  It was a great feeling to have accomplished the goal and more than wonderful that the whole way home was downhill.  Charlie and I both felt energized and pretty pleased with ourselves.

Have you had a special moment recently? Tell me what it was! Don’t keep it a secret!