Every day I feel challenged to leave the past things behind and make room for new things. It’s especially challenging because I’m anticipating moving. I have to make decisions about what goes with me into a house that is already furnished with the necessities. I have felt all too willing to skip working on this challenge. It makes me tired just thinking about it. To do this project I have to think about my present day activities and what stuff is required for them. That’s the easy part. The hard part is thinking about what I no longer do and naming the corresponding stuff  Things No Longer Needed. It kind of hurts to name them.

So, I’m on the floor sorting through music. Some of it looks so complicated and hard that I know I’d have to be practicing hours to play it. I’m not going to be doing that. My fingers don’t bend the way they used to. I no longer can play guitar. I no longer have a piano and most music doesn’t sound the same on my keyboard. I still enjoy listening to music and that is probably the only way music will be in my life going forward. But it’s hard to dispose of those hymn books that were a big part of my life. It’s hard to see that stack of solo piano music that cost $$$ and admit that it’s not going to be used in my future. 

There are plastic tubs full of fabric and sewing projects…

There is a closet full of clothing that I pretend I’m going to wear, but never do…

There are boxes of things belonging to my late husband in the garage. I wouldn’t know how to use them if I wanted to. I don’t even know what to call them in order to sell them. But they look valuable…

There’s an attic full of toys, old furniture, bedding and blankets. Once in a while I go up there and snag something. The truth is, it’s only there because I have the room to keep it whether I use it or not. Some of it was never mine and is up there because other people had the same trouble I’m having now. 

I’m looking forward to being free of most of it. Free of the maintenance of it, free of the crowded feeling, free of the mental burden. Free of being reminded of the things I used to do but am not going to do in the same way any more. Free to be future minded. 

Getting there is the daily challenge for quite a few days to come.