2020 – I Just Have to Say…

I did my 10000 today. And look at that daily average! I never would have thought it.

Thank you so much to everyone who read and watched from the sidelines this month. I definitely felt the needed pressure not to give up as I watched for views, comments and likes. You all were great! Zeb thought so too – he’s smiling and that hardly ever happens.

Doing a hard thing, on purpose, usually has payback. Challenging myself to be more active this last month has been hard but I have learned some things about myself that are good to know – even better to remember. Here they are:

Challenging myself publicly, does make me work and produce results. I can use this little bit of information to get all kinds of things done! I may not meet my goals perfectly but I go way beyond what I would do without a challenge. This is actually exciting stuff! I’m considering what next month’s challenge ought to be and the possibilities are wide open…

The excuse of not having enough time to do something probably isn’t true. I have often thought that I didn’t have time to put in 10,000 steps a day, and thinking that kept me from addressing inactivity. For a whole month I was able to find creative ways (and times) of meeting that goal most days. Over the month I averaged 3.5 miles a day. Needing that hour to walk had me looking for time wasters in my day, and I found them! They are gone and I don’t really miss them.

Physical activity helps me be more focused in areas of life other than the challenge area. There was a big project going on this December and I had the energy to get stuff done on it day after day, without getting discouraged. When I was home, I had to focus on cooking dinner, or housework. Not at home, I made my lists for errands and groceries and coordinating activities with other people. Mental focus is just a natural benefit of increased circulation to the brain, duh!

More things keep coming to my mind, but I think you get the picture. It’s not just about December either. Hasn’t this whole year been challenging? And haven’t you adopted some new and good practices as a result of being challenged? I have.

So, I’m saying Happy New Year to all. Twenty-twenty-one may turn out to be as full of hard things as 2020 was but it’s possible we could choose those areas where we want to see good work done in our lives. Some challenges could be of our own choosing. I’m going to pick some out while I’m waiting for midnight, just sayin’…

It’s kind of a rule with some, that you wave goodbye until the people leaving can’t see you anymore.

It’s 2020, the year of the pandemic and other notable events. Our “pod” as I’ve come to label it, has been decreased by four significant persons. With that comes the strangeness of loss, and of uncertainty. What is life going to be like with all these changes?

Our small community consisted of my mom, my brother Dennis and his wife, their two children, myself and the husband. It expanded when my sister-in-law’s parents moved into a newly built house down the street. My brother designed it as a retirement home for him and his wife- for “someday”. But for now it was going to be convenient for Mary Pat’s parents to be close, so she and Dennis could help them when needed.

Unfortunately, it was Mary Pat who needed the help. Breast cancer returned with a vengeance. It has been only eight months, and now she is gone. It has been a difficult last few weeks. Both sides of our families have gathered to help and to mourn. Houses have been full. Schedules have been disrupted, and it was hard. She was at home when she died and we were with her. It was a little like waving goodbye until she could no longer see us.

Our pod also included a trio of women who we call “the sisters”. They have become like family to us over the last 25 years, included in our family reunions, our weekly sabbath gatherings, and countless festive occasions. Michelle is the elder sister, being almost 94. Judith and Susan are in their 60’s now, adopted as young children from Vietnam. Retiring from their daycare business led them to buy a house in a warmer climate and they have been planning their move for months, it seems.

Our “pod” plus a few extra visiting family members.

Nevertheless, there has been a lot of stressful preparation during this last week before their trip. They left this morning, with another one of my brothers driving a Penske truck loaded with the things they needed to set up housekeeping. Moving is always a big, stressful affair, especially when you have been a long time in one place. It is safe to say that the week’s work has left us all tired and a bit emotional. We are praying they have a safe trip. We waved goodbye this morning.

I know I will recover, but right now I am somewhat disoriented. There has been so much to do in so short a time. I didn’t feel like writing even if I’d had the time, which I didn’t. I move toward simple tasks, with clear cut goals that take my mind to a different place for a period of time; organizing a closet, doing a puzzle, cleaning the kitchen, taking a walk.

Life in 2020 has not been what any of us expected, and certainly not what I expected for my family. It has been an exercise of faith, and like most exercise, it has been strenuous. It doesn’t always feel good while it is happening, but there is a sense of it being worthwhile and useful. I have felt God’s watchfulness and his care in many ways. He has listened to my questions and complaints, and received my anger, confusion and exhaustion with great patience. I have felt loved.

I hear you, Mary Pat. You weren’t afraid and I won’t be either!

This is one of my favorite pictures of Mary Pat that was handed out at her memorial. It is testimony to her faith in God’s goodness, and mine as well. When you know God is good and in charge, there is no need to be dominated by feelings of fear. The crazy weirdness of 2020 becomes opportunity to exercise faith, grow stronger in trust, and remain hopeful. That’s where I’m at. I will not be afraid, just sayin’…