It’s more than half over – this month of August. I can already tell that it’s not light as early as it used to be. Summer is doing what it always does, going away.
But it’s been perfect this week, enough sun, enough rain, enough cool work weather. I love being up north.
– Hiked at Hunt Hill Audubon Camp. Such a beautiful 2.8 mile trek around lakes and forest. The blackberries are huge this summer and we had to grab a few off the bushes we went past.
Just one of the lakes we skirted.
– Worked on my first book project. I’m not reading this time, I’m writing. It is ready for editing. It’s about my journey with Dennis, through our years with Lewy Body Dementia.
– Connected with family over a breakfast at my condo, and with friends for breakfast at a restaurant. Breakfast is my major meal of the day. Why not share it with precious people?
– Thought and planned for the trip coming up in September.
– Got in a war with the deer and rabbits over possession of my flower garden
Garden beauty draws predators, and it’s not just because they’re hungry. There’s plenty to eat this time of year.
– Made some noticeable advances in my Spanish language learning
– Spent time with Mom and her brother, my Uncle Wendell. It’s good to have someone in my life who’s older than me, and there are fewer of those people around.
– Spent a lot of time watching videos of this munchkin.
Gwennie, my favorite video personality
– Gratitude time, walking the wetlands and counting the deer that cross my path. They are either not afraid of me, or I’m invisible now.
Two littles with spots and three adults. They knew they had me outnumbered and didn’t care what I would do.
Lastly, I spent hours trying to regain access to my blog website this week. Not sure how he did it, but Ryan Bruels got me back in possession, and I’m grateful for that. It’s not just physical journals that can suddenly become nonfunctional. There’s that web thing and all the entities behind it…
There are many words that I say without thinking too hard about what I am saying. The word “weekend” is one of those – most everyone knows what that word means. Since I have been studying a new language (Spanish), I think more about what I’m actually saying in English. If a weekend is really the end of the week, it can be only one day, not two. Our two day weekend is actually weekends, one being on the front end and the other on the back. The first day and the last compromise the two ends of the week. Just thought I’d share that for no good reason.
The days in between the two ends have gone so quickly. Wednesday, hump day, started with a bed headache and a poor night’s sleep. But it quickly got better because on that day I was reunited with my car. The auto body shop called early in the morning , and said it was ready. I walked (of course) to the auto body shop and picked it up.
Driving was a bit like meeting someone I haven’t met for a long time. I felt nervous, kind of shy and afraid I might accidentally bump into someone, or get in someone’s way. My clean, undented car was on the road, vulnerable, at the mercy of other drivers and my own stupidity.
That Wednesday was also the day I got the letter of renewal from my auto insurance company. I can’t express how relieved I was. They hadn’t been going to renew my policy. It wasn’t because of the accident claim, but because of a speeding ticket back in 2022. I emailed an explanation, and begged them to take me back. I also had an agent willing to go to bat for me. They reconsidered and decided just to charge me more. I know all of this makes me out to be a really scary driver, but I’m not. Not yet.
Work in progress. I’m hoping deer don’t like the taste of coneflowers.
I’m literally digging into my new garden project. It’s the small corner plot I mentioned before that I’m going to decorate with perennials. I like coneflowers. Since they were on sale, I bought a couple plants and put them in the sunniest part of the garden. I found a few others, already in the garden but needing to be moved into the sun. Now they are a group, and if they like each other, I think they will look really pretty, some day. That, and pulling weeds and grass, took up a lot of time on Thursday.
This morning Gwen and I went to Henks Park for a walk. It has been quite cool all this week. Today, it was still only in the low 60’s, which meant no deer flies following us! It was so great and the woods were beautiful.
We go to Henks Park for the hills and ravines. Some good climbs.Recently forested, there is a lot of new growth on the paths, and there is also Gwen, on the path. The woods present some beautiful arrangements. That’s why we go out there.
And right now it is sunny and pouring rain at the same time! Nature does funny stuff, and we just have to go with it.
Tuesday is hiking day for my new bunch of friends, the Birkie Girls. Today’s instructions were to meet in the Walmart parking lot at 9:20 am to car pool to the trailhead some 20 miles away. I was there early, because Walmart is in my backyard. Of course, I walked – still no car. When no one showed up I started wondering if I had the wrong day, or the wrong time, but no. The email was clear. Apparently no one needed to car pool, and I hadn’t communicated that I needed a ride this time. So, no hike for me. Not to worry though. It’s evening now and I’ve gotten my 10,000 steps in doing gardening, and walking to the dentist.
This was the long awaited day to get the veneers on my top middle teeth. I have nothing good to say about the temporary set that I’ve had for two weeks. It was like my childhood nightmare of my teeth being loose and falling out come true. They were plastic and not very toothlike, hard to clean, and had to be re-glued once. The second time they fell out was yesterday so I put them back in and didn’t chew anything until my appointment this afternoon. The permanent ones are on now, and what a process. It must be very good glue that they use because it took a good hour to clean the residue out, and now my gums are sore. But they will heal. My teeth look and feel normal again and I am glad to be done with it. I have spent way too much time in the dentist chair in the last month or so.
Now if I could just refurbish the rest of me…
I feel like teeth are important or I wouldn’t have gone through all this repair and refurbishment. I’ve seen too many unhealthy mouths, especially on the elderly, and I just don’t want those problems as I continue to age.
I’m struggling with a gardening issue. I want to have a better perennial garden in the corner of the yard, but the deer keep eating the lillies. There’s a lot of Sweet William and Oregano there already but grass and weeds are prominent. A lot of the weeds are invasive species and have to go. Invasive weeds are a metaphor for a lot of what goes on in life…
I am serious about fixing these problems because I want it to be a memorial garden. It’s a garden that Mom started and has always loved and I want to keep it going for her. I also want to put the husband’s ashes somewhere in that space.
The corner garden. This will be my “before” picture.
On the other side of the fence from this corner garden is Walmart. And that will be a story for tomorrow. What on earth are they doing over there?
Today, if I were writing in my poor, disabled planner, I would write that I met a friend for breakfast before church. Of course, I walked to the restaurant, being still without my car. This friend used to call me regularly, often coming to my house to talk, often praying together, sharing our hobbies and adventures. Then that pattern stopped in a somewhat sudden manner, and that kind of abrupt change always worries me a little, especially when I know a person is going through some tough experience. We did some catching up over coffee and breakfast food and I reassured myself that she was doing okay. Things change, needs change, circumstances change but I still think it is best to risk annoying someone to find out when I have that nagging feeling that something might be wrong. They might just be waiting for someone to care. It was good to see her. We sat together in church, both alone, together.
People, check on your friends.
I would also record that I’m worried about Shadow the cat, again. She has been markedly less active the last two days, less like herself in other ways as well, and definitely scratching and licking more. I am hoping that I did not create a set back by trying to wean her off the prednisone she was taking.
I forgot to take my blood pressure medicine this morning. Having a different morning and breaking routine by going out resulted in forgetting. It’s not like it will kill me to skip one day but I’m aware how little it takes to distract me, and that can be scary. Last week was unusual too and I missed two days.
A subtle sadness has been hanging over me like a cloud. I wonder if it’s because I’ve been binge watching “Call the Midwife”. Almost every episode finds me crying with the characters and aware of the hardships that ordinary people have faced, and still face. It is a good series, although it portrays many difficult and troubling social issues. The television is my dinner companion most evenings. I don’t even think about being alone if I have something interesting to watch.
I didn’t make the top three in Duolingo this week, and I don’t care.
I took a walk in the meadow at sunset. It was very beautiful, with a soft purple and white blanket over the field. The flowers are so pretty and plentiful. It’s a shame that they are invasive species poised to take over the world. They get mowed regularly but it’s hard to keep up with them.
I have a lot of phone calls to make in the morning. I have to borrow my nephew’s car to take Mom to an appointment in a nearby town, and there was something else that didn’t get written down that I’m hoping to remember before it’s too late. I got an email saying the new planner had been sent out, and it can’t come too soon, in my opinion. I need my second brain back again.
It is sinking in that summer is really, finally here. This usually happens about four weeks before it gets cold again, so I am being very much in the present, eyes wide open, walking without a jacket, swatting at deer flies and even getting a bit warm at times.
It is getting late, almost 8:30 but I have sunlight still and it’s been a few days since I walked the wetland trail. We’ve had regular rain so the meadow is green. There are a few clouds but no wind. The sunset is getting better by the minute.
Even with the rain, the creeks and ponds are low but I love the way this one looks like a ribbon of reflected light.
The first sections of my path go past fields where milkweed plants abound. They are in full flower now which makes for a rather stunning plant. I often see deer in the fields in the evening and tonight I got to lock eyes with this young fellow. I thought he was stunning too.
Farther out in the marsh, I’m seeing “my geese”. I’m getting a sense of ownership – after all I’ve watched them grow up. Most of them look like adults now. Tonight they have the company of a pair of sand hill cranes. None of them seem to mind that I am taking pictures of them so I spend quite a bit of time watching.
Passing the wildflower field makes me happy because the black eyed susans are the color of happy. Passing the wildflower field also makes me sad because black eyed susans are a mid to late summer flower and I don’t want summer to be over anytime soon.
Splashes of color are everywhere, if you look for them.
I am reminded that this beautiful greenspace used to be a small golf course every time I see this sign, which now makes me laugh. It’s all green so I guess we can exit anywhere we want to.
The sun is nearly down and I am feeling like I’ve just had a shower of peace and blessing. Even the deer flies have gone to bed and are no longer following me. Time to be thanking God for helping me to be here in this place, at this time. Time to rest. Thanks for coming along.
Up north where summer is cool (except when it’s 100 degrees F.).
We are having a family reunion in, roughly, two weeks. This time we number around 45 individuals from the east coast, the west coast and in between. They are coming from Alaska, and Florida, from Washington, Georgia, Michigan and North Carolina. By plane and by car. The meeting place is Hayward, WI and thankfully that is close to the middle, however it is also over two hours from the nearest airport. Everyone flying in has to shuttle, rent a car, or find someone to give a ride. Travel arrangements are getting wildly complex.
Family reunions are somewhat about food, since we all need to eat. But it’s not that simple. Everyone has favorite meals and food traditions that we like to recreate. Like most families, we love grilling outdoors, pizza, good coffee for breakfast and cinnamon rolls. We love popcorn and ice cream. We love a meal out at an interesting restaurant. We have kids who only eat one food. We have adults on special diets. Food arrangements are getting complex.
We love to sit around and talk, and for some of us that is the most physically active we can be. We have others who would add a silly game, a movie night, or a campfire to their talk environment. There are some of us who have to float the river for four hours or it’s not a real reunion. There are some who have to be on wheels, or boats doing something potentially dangerous. And all of us care about sharing worthwhile, memorable experiences with each other. And although I have never felt that boredom is a fatal condition, I would prefer that no one remember our time together as BORING. It’s getting complex.
River floatDuel at 40 mphFishing (and catching)Not boring.
The next couple of weeks this reunion is going to be on my mind pretty regularly. My four brothers and I, along with Mom, are the linch pins of the event and are talking, calling each other, and figuring out all these complexities. I appreciate how it draws us together, joining our particular skills, taxing our creativity. It’s work, but good work. It’s going to make some interesting journal entries and I hope I have time to write them.
I love that our complex family cares enough about these periodic reunions to consider planning, spending for them and coming to them. I know it probably will not always be possible. Our families are getting larger and developing groups within groups and that will change the when, the who and the where for our future get-togethers. That is okay, because no matter the size of the gathering, we are teaching the tradition to the next generation. We teach cooperation. We teach sacrifice. We teach commitment. We teach fun. We teach family.
All photos are from past reunions. This one in 2018.
Do you have family reunions? If so, do you look forward to them? Are there special traditions or ways of handling complex arrangements that you can share?
My senior assisted living community has gone down by two – a whole 50%. I still have the husband and Mom to help but my uncle and aunt, both in their 90’s, have gone south to live near my uncle’s children.
Me and Mom. Glad I still get to help her. She’s fun.
They lived near a town, about 25 minutes away, out in the country where we had trouble getting cell service. They had neighbors, but I was always worried about them being able to contact someone if they needed help. My aunt was disabled with Parkinson’s, and nearly blind. My uncle was the main caregiver for her and he was getting tired. On top of that there was the difficulty of keeping warm and plowed out during our severe winters. Something had to change, and it did.
My aunt had a crisis on Friday, July 1st, and after a week in the hospital recovering it was obvious that she needed nursing home placement. I was surprised to find out that there were no available beds for her level of care anywhere in our small community. None. But there was a place for her in a care center in the town where my uncle’s daughter lived, and they were willing to accept her. I am in awe of the social workers who helped get this done so quickly that it about took my breath away. I also think it was God’s plan to give my uncle some good time with his daughters after many years of just seeing them for occasional visits.
Caregiving… my aunt and uncle didn’t require my time on any regular basis, but more as a problem solver and go between with their doctors. I helped a little with their legal and financial affairs and often with their tech problems. Cell phones and computers drove my uncle to frustration. So, you would think I would feel free and have lots of extra time now that I don’t have those responsibilities. I guess that’s partly true – but I’m mostly aware of how quickly it all happened and how I miss them. Strange.
And that is one of the strange things about caregiving. It’s often hard, restricting, physically tiring, stressful, and has distasteful elements but it is also rewarding and more meaningful than a lot of other things I might be doing. Although I’ve been a paid caregiver and felt the weight of responsibility for my clients and the importance of being faithful and dependable, being a family caregiver is that and so much more. There are no 8 or 12 hour shifts, seldom a vacation, no weekends off, no differential for nights and no overtime. There are times when it feels like I’m handing over my life to someone else.
But, it is my life, and I know I made intentional choices that determined my present circumstances. Like many other aspects of life, the challenge is in taking what comes to me and making something of it. I must make plans but I must also expect the unexpected and figure out how to respond. I want to respond to situations in ways that won’t make me disappointed in myself at some later date.
In case you haven’t noticed, preaching to myself is one of the ways I’m meeting those challenges. It helps me to remember that God has given me specific skills to use for the good of others, and that he will strengthen me and keep me in the game until I’m no longer needed. Knowing that I am in the right place, at the right time, for a good purpose makes me satisfied and gives joy. What more could I ask?
Riding around Hayward, not in a car, but on a bike – that was my joyride yesterday. It was a relatively slow ride, not a race of any kind, and I took care to be noticing everything. It was a great way to tour a small town. I’ve always loved Hayward, but I kind of “fell in love” over again. I’m pretty sure you would like Hayward too.
Many changes have taken place in our town since I was a child. Of course, one of them was the paved bike path I started on. It follows the perimeter of the business and residential districts, starting very close to my condo, and circles around to end up at the starting point again 12.5 miles later. I probably put in a few extra miles going through quiet streets, just looking at houses and yards because that’s what I like to do.
On my ride I started at what used to be my Grandfather Smith’s property, and the house where he raised his family.
Not too much later I rode past the house where my Grandfather Boone used to live, and the field where my mother and her brothers used to play.
I rode past three water towers. Except for the giant fish, I think maybe it’s our town’s mark of distinction to have three of them, although none of them are very attractive – a little rust, a little graffiti, lots of sirens and satellite dishes hanging on them.
The bridge over Hwy 27, near the Lake Hayward DamBridge on Hospital RoadNamekagon River crossings
I crossed the same river twice, and rode along it for long stretches. The Namekagon River valley is where Hayward is situated and I saw several smaller streams on their way to join the main river. Lake Hayward is the result of a dam on the Namekagon. The area grew as a logging town and for a while the lake was a collection point for logs. I rode past the water arena where lumberjacks still show their skills to the public, log rolling, climbing, chopping and sawing.
The raw materialLogs turn into these cuties.and a musky, of courseand other creative ideas.
I don’t know if this entrepreneur was ever a lumberjack but I am pretty much in awe of his skill with a chainsaw. I rode past his outdoor lot where he sells some amazing log art.
Is that Jack Link’s jet? I don’t know.
Near the end of my ride I went past Hayward’s airport. You could probably charter a plane to bring you to Hayward but there are no major airlines serving this town. Many of the planes, jets and helicopters belong to people wealthy enough to fly in and out, rather than drive the nearly three hours to Minneapolis or six hours to southern Wisconsin cities.
Riding a bike is a friendly way of getting around, similar to horse and buggy days when stopping to talk with someone you knew was common. I rode past the house of some friends and saw one of their kids outside fixing his car. I thought a minute, and then turned around and went up the drive to say hi. Why not?
Last stretch of the bike path leading home.
I have decided to ride bike more often this summer. It really is a pretty good way to get around for moderate distances. I thought that it might be my next challenge (gotta have a challenge…) to ride 100 miles a month, for the next four months, until it snows again. But today it is raining and I’m already losing my enthusiasm. Haven’t learned to love riding in the rain, yet.
I haven’t seem much of the geese since the tall grass around the pond was mowed. This pair and their young’un saw me coming this evening and high-tailed it into the pond. Most of the families have gone further into the wetland marsh.
June 25, 26
The weekend did not bring answers to the electrical problem in the garage. I unplugged the garage door opener one night and the fault still occurred. The only conclusion I can make is that none of my appliances are causing the problem. It’s going to be up to an electrician I’m afraid.
I went back to church on Sunday and it was good to be involved in the music. I am the oldest on the worship team – never thought that would be my badge, but I’ll take it. We have an eclectic pool of people to man the different instruments and lead. Teenagers, married middle-agers, seniors, even some middle school volunteers (because they are so good running slides on the computer). It feels like a privilege to worship with them.
The husband wanted to eat out again! We had lunch at Perkins and then went next door to get a DQ hamburger for Mom. The line for ordering was 10 cars long. That place is crazy ever since Covid started.
June 27
Major accomplishment today was getting my aunt (96 years old) and uncle (91 years old) to the doctor for wellness checks. I drove the 18 miles to their house, helped them get in their car, drove back 18 miles to the clinic with them. Their appointments were easy enough, but then we also had to stop at the pharmacy and get their Covid boosters. The return trip, another half hour there and half hour back home. I have to laugh at their car. I used to be worried about all the warnings of tire pressure being low, the loud clacking of the fan, the smell of decaying mouse, and the unpredictable door locks. Not any more. We just go.
June 28
More doctor appointments but this time it is for me and the husband. We lived in Florida for 30 years and need to get our skin checked for cancers. It turned out to be a little unnerving for me since she found six suspicious places on my face and used her “freeze” gun on them. It hurt but I can’t see that it did much to them. In addition she looked at my hands and decided to do x-rays and blood work to see if I had rheumatoid arthritis. I wasn’t expecting that.
I went home and spent the evening pulling weeds in Mom’s borders around her condo. There’s nothing like doing a job that really needs doing to calm me down. The border improved, one small weed at a time – and me, marveling that there were no mosquitoes, amused by the bullfrog sounding from the retention pond out back. So ended the day.
June 29
Fighting a headache all day. I read to the husband in the morning and we finished a book. Reading is not the best for headaches though.
Before it was filled in with dirt, this silo foundation was home to a large pig!
We have an historic silo foundation behind the barn. It has had various plantings in it and is also a graveyard for Scruffy, my brother’s dog who left us a couple years back. At times it’s been featured in family photos, and since we have a reunion coming up, I wanted to get it weeded and respectable looking. Once again, pulling weeds is therapy, this time for my headache. I feel such power, deciding which things stay and which things go. I might have made a good dictator.
RIP Scruffy.
I took the husband out for a wheelchair ride on our street after dinner. I’m glad that he is able to get outside, if only for a few minutes, but there is something about doing this that saddens me. It makes such a statement.
June 30
The last day of June, sob! A third of our summer is over.
The headache is still hanging around, so much so that I wondered if I was getting second Covid, long Covid, or whatever it is called when it comes back. But I had no fever and felt better after medication.
Spent some time with my client at New Life. She is a delightful young mom who likes to sit and talk, which I find very refreshing.
The only other redeeming thing I did today was clean up my closet a bit. Decided it might be safe to box up my winter socks – a fitting way to say goodbye to June.
The flowers change with the months. Daisies are still in style but the late summer blooms are starting already.
Appointments, yes. But what is really driving me crazy is the GFS outlet in the garage that keeps tripping and shutting off power to all the outlets where my second refrigerator, and my freezer are plugged in. Every day a new tactic, trying to isolate the problem…
June 19
We are not having our usual company after church today. We are not going to church. The husband keeps asking if we are doing our normal things and I have to remind him that we are staying home because I have had Covid. I did go out and watch the geese. They are getting big.
The adults are always watching – good parents.
June 20
Today was over 90 degrees and windy. I could easily have imagined I was back in Florida. I passed up helping the Boys and Girls Club with their canoe trip. The cold water would probably have felt good but the heat made me feel sick, even being inside. It’s probably too soon for me to be doing something that strenuous. Glad to stay home.
Except for the chiropractor appointment that the husband thinks he needs. Once again, I had him go in by himself while I sat in the car and watched their hanging baskets twirl and wilt in the heat and wind. They came out to check on timing for another appointment and I said it was okay, but don’t have my calendar with me to be sure.
June 21
Mom, brother Dennis and I are back on our morning meetings, discussing the day ahead and doing some reading. I had two appointments. The first was with our financial advisor, a quarterly update. He’s had Covid too so we were in about the same shape and not too worried about catching it anymore. To be proper we met outside on the patio. It was hot but not quite as bad as yesterday.
The second appointment was to look at a camper that some friends of friends were willing to rent us for the reunion. I drove out to the Schrock’s and met Erik and Julia. Their camper is nice and I think it will make a good abode for my brother Ron and his wife. Once again, I’m aware of my passion for other people’s campers, and how I will probably not ever have one of my own. Whatever…
June 22
Cooler today. An exciting morning in the garden, hand weeding the beets. Some of them are growing good and some are not and I’m not sure what the difference is. But it was nice to be outside and breathe fresh, cool air. Some neighbors came over to say hi.
After spending several hours wishing I didn’t have to go anywhere – I found out I actually didn’t have to go anywhere. The program manager at the Resource Center met with my client in the morning, assuming I was still isolating with Covid.
June 23
I hate it when I have mistakenly made appointments too close together – usually because I don’t have my calendar with me. Wondering how to have the husband at the chiropractor at 12:15 and still make it to my haircut appointment at 12:45. But, guess what? The salon called and said I had two appointments for the same day and one was at 9:45! Once in a while my appointment mix ups actually go in my favor. I took the early one and cancelled the other.
I had time to brave Walmart to pick up prescriptions for the husband and get some groceries. He had been wanting some slippers without a back that he could put his foot into easily, and I found some in his usual size. But no, they felt too small, so later I walked back to Walmart for the next larger size. Again, no. They felt like “shackles” and necessitate lifting one’s feet up with each step. I am done with the slipper game.
Like “shackles”, I’m told.
Welcome distraction – a Zoom call with my daughter in Seattle and her husband. We are working on a newsletter for the family reunion in August.
June 24
Why are my strawberries small and orange? They taste great, even when they don’t look ripe, which most of them don’t. Just in case they aren’t getting enough water, I put the irrigation on them for a good spell.
Highlight of the day – I got invited to go out for fish fry this evening at a restaurant! The husband decided to go too. I was worried about that, but he did okay in spite of being too hot (we sat outside) and not wanting to eat fish.
This week has left me wondering about my mental health. I can’t seem to apply myself to anything. Waiting for some kind of change, I guess.
At least the freezer and the extra fridg are now plugged in where they won’t be shut off every night when the GFS faults
I Just Have to Say... 