I have a bookmark in my Bible that has this picture and beginning sentence:
“Dennis Richard Dietz, born December 26, 1945…”
It goes on to describe some of what he meant to me and the rest of his family. I look at the bookmark almost daily, and remember more about him and our life together every time. A person’s whole life cannot fit on a bookmark.
What I sit with on this day, Dennis’s birthday, is that our paths were in God’s hands all the time. He knew our moves before we made them. He brought us together.
I don’t know why he fell prey to Lewy Body dementia, but I do know he chose to view it the way he did – sometimes fighting it, trying to understand it, living with it in a form of acceptance while observing its progress in his body. He chose the path that led to his stroke. Most of the choices after that were not his, although he assented to the ones he could understand.
But today is not about his death. It’s about his birth, what a cute little guy he was as a child, what a studious young person he became, what a meticulous professional he was. His ways, his smiles, his silliness, his sternness, his peculiarities are all still in the minds of those who knew him.
Today, I miss him a lot. I think he would like knowing that he’s missed. He was such a good man.
It was tricky getting good pictures of this outing since phones and water do not mix well. I think you’ll get the idea though. Fun was had.
Today was overcast and cool, with a possibility of rain. We decided against taking a hike because Esther had an alternate idea that would keep us warm and entertained, at least for a couple of hours. Hot tub boats. Yes, it’s a thing.
We drove to Lake Washington, which is right in the city of Seattle. The lake is surrounded by skyscrapers, bridges, and highways. Its harbor is quite busy with all sizes of boats, and seaplanes. There are many houseboats, and waterfront businesses. There is a lot to look at. Someone came up with the idea of looking at it all while sitting in a hot tub, on a cute electric boat, with snacks on board and music.
I had filled out my waiver online the night before and got checked in quickly, along with Esther, Ryan and Jon. It seemed a little contrary to nature at first, taking off our warm clothes to the bathing suit layer and getting wet, on a day like this. But the water inside the boat was 104 degrees and felt really good. We stowed our food and watched a quick video tutorial on rules and regulations, then we were off.
How many feet away from shore?
I don’t remember all we were told, but the basics were 1) don’t get off the boat. 2) don’t let anyone else in the boat. 3) don’t go under any bridges 4) try not to hit anything. There was nothing to this boat except a joy stick for steering. The electric motors were quiet and invisible. There was a little bit of wooden deck at the front of the boat, with a hatch door covering a storage area. The rest of the boat was a hot tub with benches down both sides and the back.
This is the life… Space Needle coming up
We were told not to worry about the planes taking off and landing all around us. The pilots would worry about us, hopefully.
In the two hours we were on the water, we circled that part of Lake Washington and took in the sights, including the Space Needle and all the hustle and bustle of the city. I had never been on a mobile hot tub before and found it an interesting combination of bathing and boating. Esther has also done this at night and said it was especially beautiful.
I would recommend this outing to anyone visiting the Seattle area. Yeah, it was fun, and different from the average boat ride, and perfect for birthday week.
Parade of water homes. Yachts from all over the world, fishing boats from Alaska
My husband is in the last stages of Lewy Body dementia and can no longer do anything for himself. He is in hospice care and he is at home where I am his main caregiver. This is my world.
Today is the day I decided to end my stress eating and lose some extra pounds. Today is the 21st day in a row that I have faithfully studied my Spanish lessons. Today is the 182nd day since the husband had a stroke and became totally disabled. Today is the day a hospice volunteer came to sit with my husband and give me a couple hours to leave the house. That is what I want to write about.
I don’t get out much anymore. Since most of my friends were working and unavailable I decided to run errands around town. First on my list was getting a birthday package mailed out to a friend in Florida. The box already had an assortment of small treats in it but there was too much room left and Mom and I didn’t want to waste it. She felt popcorn would be the perfect filler. It so happens that Hayward, my hometown, has a Popcorn Store. That’s not so weird, is it?
I went there, wondering if it was open since it’s winter and there isn’t quite the tourist traffic we have in the summer. I was not disappointed. There were three cars parked outside and several men inside making popcorn, I guess. One of them came to me as I wandered the popcorn showroom and offered his assistance in finding something “not too sweet” for my diabetic friend. He was the owner, I believe, and there was a distinct “Santa Claus-ishness” about him. Probably the white hair and beard.
I bought a small bag of Main Street Mix for my friend, and although this is the first day of my weight loss program, I added a bag of Kettle Korn for myself (to make it worth his while to wait on me). I noticed three larger, unlabeled bags of popcorn on a table and asked what they were for. He picked one up and said, “It’s for you!” He couldn’t have known about my near addiction to popcorn, could he?
It was their premium white popcorn mixed with mushroom popcorn, which has nothing to do with real mushrooms. Mushroom popcorn is noticeably bigger than other kinds and has a beautiful pale yellow color. It’s going to be delicious. I left there feeling like God had smiled down.
My next stop before the post office was at Lynne Marie’s candy shop. Yes, my friend is diabetic but they have sugar free candy there and I know she likes it. There was room for some in the box.
Lynne Marie herself was working in the candy kitchen and came to wait on me right away. She pointed out some sugar free chocolate covered almonds that I thought would do nicely.
We started talking and I got around to telling her who I was and who I was related to. Not only had she gone to school with my brothers, but her family had bought a cabin on Round Lake from my husband and I years ago. It had been our first (and last) investment property. We felt like old friends by the time we were done with this conversation. It is the first day of my weight loss effort, but I bought a pound of her cherry nut fudge anyway. We’re friends now and it seemed like the right thing to do.
On to the post office where I finally chose a priority mail box and packed all the presents in it, surrounded by happy birthday tissue paper and a couple of cards. Mailing things always seems like such a daunting chore, but it isn’t that bad if you just make yourself do it. I felt like I had accomplished something with my time, and gotten to know my hometown shops a little better.
There is an art to being a good friend. It’s mostly about showing up in the right way, at the right times, consistently, and that’s not easy to do. It takes somewhat of an artist. Today I had fun looking at pictures of a “friend artist” that I have known for years. I should have finished this task yesterday on her birthday. But I believe in birth week, as well as birthday, so I’m still on time for that.
She came all the way from Florida to visit after we moved to Wisconsin. She and her husband were our business associates for 30 years, which amounts to lots of dinners together, lots of discussions, lots of influence. We both like to take walks and eat in cute, casual restaurants. She knows how to enjoy her friends in all kinds of settings.She doesn’t mind getting into unusual places, meeting unusual people with me. This was at the barn of the Cracker Poemer. She adopted my friends as her own.Always the smile is there. DeSoto Park.Not afraid of new things or of following God’s leading. I remember this BSF leadership conference that we attended together. I could always get her to show up for birthday parties I was throwing for friends – even at the beach on hot July days. She has a way of loving my children as if they were her own. They feel that way about her too. She and her husband give and serve in so many ways. I love hanging out with people like that. Walk for Life in Bradenton FL.
There are so many ways that this lady has exhibited friendship, that it would be hard to name them all (her husband too, but it’s not his birth week). We are thousands of miles apart now, but there are ways of being a friend at a distance and she knows how to do that too. I never had a sister, but she makes up for that in my life. Happy birth week Arlette. I love you dear friend.
Look through your photos, your letters, your memories and have fun today thinking about a friend who has meant a lot to you. You don’t have to wait until it’s their birthday. Tell them how much you appreciate their friendship. Tell them now while you have the chance. Just sayin’…
Birthday week has officially been over for several days now, but I have yet to thank my well wishers because I’ve been traveling and struggling to keep up with the A to Z Challenge posts. But I am thankful! You all made me feel loved and celebrated. Here’s a little report (just because it’s Sunday and I don’t have to do a post for the A to Z).
On the 8th I was in Florida visiting with friends and family. The day started with going to the Dune Deck in Lantana for breakfast with an ocean view. I had heard of it often as a place my Florida family liked to do celebrations. Quite a few of our group were able to come and we had a relaxing time and a good breakfast. They had no birthday cake, but they did have key lime pie, with a candle, and they sang the song. It felt birthdayish.
I’ve already forgotten what the rest of the day was like, except I do remember there being a pool and a floaty that was conducive to napping. That also was far from my normal day, and very birthdayish.
Dinner had been claimed by one of my dear friends, who took our whole family out to a Japanese steakhouse, hibachi grill style. Yes, the food was good and the cook did his best to impress us with his knives and his onion volcano, but the real fun was just being together with all the family, young and old. Never mind that one of the kid’s paper cup sprang a leak (accidentally he said as he plugged the hole with his toothpick) and shot soft drink around, and another one sent the bowl of that thick pink sauce shooting off the table and onto the floor. I wasn’t the parent so it was more like an interesting movie, a comedy, to watch it all take place.
This must be the first trick they ALL learn.
The trip down to Florida and back, flying first class, was kind of a birthday present from me, to me as well as to Mom, who was with me on this adventure. On the way down, it was too early to feel like doing anything except closing our eyes and occasionally lifting our masks to eat our snacks. On the way home we were more ready to take advantage of everything first class offered.
I got cards from friends and each one was read and treasured. It is greatly encouraging to be remembered in this way and knowing that, I think I will try to do more card sending this year. A few gifts, and real flowers came my way. Thank you all so much – you know who you are (and I’m planning on sending cards there too.). Last but not least, to all my facebook friends, thank you for being there and responding to the Facebook prompt to send a greeting. You didn’t have to do it, but you did and I saw it.
Birthday week is over, but because of it I will feel more connected to people all year long. That is what I care about. Grateful for you all!
It just so happens that I have two men in this present stage of life that are near and dear to me. It just so happens that they are both named Dennis. It just so happens that they both have birthdays this week. Isn’t that a little odd?
The husband’s serene smile.
The one that I’ve known for the last 49 years is the husband Dennis. We are together still and figuring out life together, one day at a time. He will be 75 on Friday. His birthday has always been a little anticlimactic, being a day after the birthday celebration of the Savior of the world. He’s always seemed very accepting of being in the shadow though. It’s fortunate for him that he doesn’t put a lot of stock in birthdays in general, his or anyone else’s.
My brother even goes geocaching with me (well, once…).
The second Dennis is my brother. I’ve know him for all of his life. He came on the scene when I was ten years old, the youngest of my four brothers. His birthday is tomorrow, Monday. He might as well have been born on Christmas, since the holiday lasts nearly a week for all practical purposes. It’s easy to get overlooked in a very busy season.
We who write, read, and blog – we’re kind of a community, aren’t we? I’ve shared my two Dennis’s with you because I have an “ask” to put out there. If you have time, and just want to put a kind, happy surprise in the life of someone you may not even know, would you wish them a happy birthday? I haven’t tried this before so I don’t know if Facebook lets you say happy birthday if you aren’t on a person’s friend list, but I love experiments. Feel free to tell me if it doesn’t work. It doesn’t matter if you do it on the exact day either. Thank you so much! I love these guys.
13. Already have supper figured out and ready to cook.
14. A long birthday walk on Hospital Trail North, all 10,000 steps in the great outdoors
15. A surprise stare down with a beautiful wild deer in the forest (which I took as a birthday present since it doesn’t happen very often)
16. More birthday blessings from people online, more happiness reviewing those memories
17. A “hope” rock from my sister-in-law
18. The special dinner – I didn’t burn anything!
19. Birthday dessert from my mom.
20. Alexa played music I liked all evening – another rare occurrence.
21. FaceTime talks, texts, and calls from family during the day. They all helped me to feel valued and to process the fact of aging, and live with the fear of it.
22. The mantra “We understand fear is normal, but courage gets the final say.” from “The Next Right Thing” by Emily Freeman
They kept coming, wave after wave of people carrying backpacks, looking a bit dazed, numb. They were hungry and they needed food, warm liquid, salt, calories. They had just skied 29K in below freezing temperatures. This was the Kortelopet and Prince Haakon races of the American Birkebeiner. https://www.birkie.com/ski/events/kortelopet/
Our small town hosts this winter event every year in February, unless there is no snow or the temperatures are deadly, rare situations. The number of people in town goes from the usual 2500 to 40,000 for the two days of races. It’s a pretty big deal for people who like snow. It takes nearly the whole town volunteering to pull it off. This is my second year of helping in the food tent, where all the skiers congregate after crossing the finish line.
The International Bridge which all skiers cross to reach the finish. It is erected over the main highway and covered with snow.
My brother is one of the race chiefs, heading up the serving of food and all the volunteers who help him. The menu is simple – soup, bread, bananas, cookies and drinks. The challenge is doing it in a tent, set up on a vacant lot where everything you need has to be brought in by someone. All the soup arrives frozen in gallon bags and has to be thawed before being warmed to serving temperature. It takes a crew of several men to keep filling the warming tanks, opening the bags and emptying them into the cooking pots, then transferring the hot soup to the serving tables inside the tent. All this is done outside.
“I ski the Birkie every year just for the chicken soup,” one man tells me. I don’t believe him, but the soup is really good. Volunteers inside the tent ladle it into serving cups as fast as they can for hours. Chicken noodle soup is the favorite but there is a choice. The tomato vegetable soup was my station and it is also a good one, perhaps a bit more nutritious too. However the chick/noodle is favored two to one.
I’m guessing that the pots are filled with about seven or eight gallons of soup at a time. I emptied seven of them – I can’t even imagine how many servings that was. It helped that I was tall. Scooping into the pot is easy when it’s full but as the level goes down, it gets more difficult to reach the bottom, and messy, especially when doing it fast.
The (least favored) vegetable soup
It was cold in the tent before we started serving the first finishers. The wind would lift the tarps and blow cups and table coverings off our tables. The ground also is frozen and cold, which is why we stand on rubber mats. After we got really busy I forgot all about my feet feeling like frozen blocks of ice. Watching the people come in, young ones, elder ones, men, women from all over the world, all I could think was “why would they want to be this cold and still call it fun?”
We fed over 3,000 today, and this was the smaller of the races. Tomorrow’s crowd will be twice as many. I hope to be there again, serving up the least favored soup, just sayin’…
Do you remember any of your birthdays? How you celebrated? A
special gift you received? Someone who surprised you with a visit or a greeting
of some kind?
I try to have something memorable happen on my birthday most every year, and I’m willing to come up with it and do it alone if no one is available. This year I didn’t have to do it alone. My mom and I did something together. We got sick.
Food poisoning, but we can’t figure out what it was for sure. I spent the day barely able to move without passing out. In spite of being very dehydrated, neither of us wanted to risk putting food or drink into our unstable stomachs. I spent the day crawling from the bed to the recliner and back again. I cancelled the one appointment for the day – the gym – since there was no energy available for training. In short, it was not the memorable event I had in mind. I get a rain check, right?
Today is better. We are both on our feet a little more, but
still glad not to have a lot to do today. It is amazing how dependent we are on
vital elements, like water. Take away ten pounds of water weight, and I’m
barely able to function. It definitely
reminds me of my episode of dehydration on the Appalachian Trail and the recent
D post I wrote on dehydration.
It all makes me think of how we are designed, with enough
flexibility to cover the usual ups and downs of life. Most of the time we don’t
have to think about how much we’ve eaten or not eaten, or whether we’ve had
enough to drink. Food and beverage are available to us on a pretty regular
basis, leaving us free to worry about lesser things.
But there are places in this world where it is not so. What must it feel like to live in a body that
is little more than skin and bones, where there is no food or water to be had? It happens in our own country, where being
homeless or in poverty can make it so difficult to be fed with something
nutritious. I was overcome with
weakness, loss of motivation, pain and the need to rest somewhere safe. I can’t imagine being out on the street in a
city, or out in a desert village in Africa and trying to survive under those
conditions.
I am grateful that I was at home yesterday, recovering slowly as I watched birthday greetings come in on Facebook. I got a delivery of flowers, several cards and a book I had ordered in the mail, a visit from my brother and his kind delivery of some Pedialyte. I have reasons to remember this birthday, just sayin’…
I have a friend (at least one, thank God!) who has a birthday today. What a joy it is to me to think about someone who is special and dear, and be able to share those thoughts publicly. Meet my friend Arlette.
There is something about her that actually looks French, but I’m not sure what it is…
You will notice that she has a name which I think both looks and sounds French. She is of French origin and this comes through in so many of her ways. Of course, there is the accent which she has not been able to shed (nor should she) even though she is fluently English speaking. I hardly ever have to wonder what she is saying. I love the way she and her French-speaking husband call each other “chere”. Sometimes, she will be thinking of an exact word in French but not able to immediately find the English equivalent. She will question Dwight and together they will come up with it. Endearing.
I met Arlette because our husbands were thrust into work together. The men set up an office in Sarasota for their company, an American subsidiary of a French corporation. Although we women knew each other and the Shackelfords were very kind in helping us get settled in Florida, we did not automatically jump into friendship. That started when Arlette agreed to tutor my home-schooled daughters in their French lessons. Merci beacoup mon ami!
Two people who speak French very well, and a daughter who still knows a little of it, I think.
As time progressed, we became better friends, mainly because Arlette is an accomplished hostess (which she has trouble admitting, but it is true). Her invitations were NEVER turned down. I don’t have any other friends who do a small, intimate dinner evening for two or three couples so excellently. She loves beautiful flowers in simple vases, interesting tableware, luxurious touches like cloth napkins, just the right music, and well-planned food choices. She believes in appetizers, which I have to admit were a new thing for me. My family experience – we sat down and ate. At Arlette’s house I learned to enjoy a warm up meal before the real thing.
We deepened our friendship in the last ten years because we learned of common things in our faith worldview. I felt Arlette would really enjoy Bible Study Fellowship, which I was attending. She finally agreed to check it out, hoping to put an end to my annoying requests. I was right, she liked it. We have had nearly ten years of enjoying spiritual growth together. It is hard to put into words what sharing our hearts, and mutually acknowledging what God is doing in our lives has done for me. I view her friendship as a gift from God, evidence that he kindly answers my need for companionship.
Arlette is my friend who says she is not brave but nonetheless allows herself to be talked into outings a bit past her comfort zone, like expeditions in the kayak. She has braved a weekend in a motel with me, let the husband and I have free overnight stays in her home, exercised me with many long walks, hauled my furniture and boxes around, advised me on home décor, helped me plan parties, listened to me for hours on end. There are some things I haven’t convinced her to do with me yet, but the potential is still there. I don’t intend to let this girl rest.
So, happy birthday, my friend. Don’t worry about getting older. You are still younger than me and, barring a miracle, will always be. God bless you today and always. I love and appreciate you.
I Just Have to Say... 