Years ago (before baby boomers started getting old) the elderly either aged at home or they went to the “nursing home”. That’s what we called it then, and it was the place you went right before you died. No one wanted to go there.
I don’t remember exactly when assisted living became a common thing, but I remember at one point my mom saying that she didn’t think it would be so bad to stay in a facility like that. I was surprised that she sounded so positive about it, but then, that’s the way she is. She’s never wanted to be a burden to her children.
She had her name put on the waiting list for an assisted living apartment at Water’s Edge, a complex attached to our local small hospital. A couple of winters ago, her name was next on the list and she was contacted. I happened to be visiting at the time. She decided that since she had help, she would try it out for a few months and see what it was like. We moved her in. I got to stay with her for a week.
Senior living, for those who can afford it, has become something quite different from the “nursing home” of olden days. There is every level of care available, at different price points. Many people are totally independent and are just paying for the apartment, knowing that it is in a secure building and that they can easily transition to more care should they need to. Others appreciate being able to have meals prepared for them, socialization and exercise options, and regular check-ins with nursing personnel.
It was an interesting experience for both Mom and I, and I am glad that we were able to familiarize ourselves with the concept of assisted living. The stigma and fear of it has evaporated. After a couple months, that got her through the worst of the winter, Mom decided she did not need even their minimal level of assistance, so she moved back to her condo.
I am wanting to tell anyone who is a caregiver, that it is okay to consider an assisted living facility for your loved one (your person) when their care is more than you can handle. And if you can move there with them, don’t wait until you’ve burned out doing everything yourself. Go there. Some of them are very nice and very practical places to live. Check them out and see what your choices would be before you are in desperate need. You will be glad you did.
Water’s Edge, where Mom stayed, is probably typical of many assisted living situations. Many of them are associated with hospitals and offer increased nursing care, rehab care, memory care, and other specialized services that might be needed. I lived close to another one in Florida and they also hosted events and concerts that were well attended by residents. They really do try to offer all the things that people like to have (yup, there is Bingo).
The price tag may seem high to some, but do not forget that they often take care of cable TV and internet, electricity and other services, all in one bill. If you like their menus, you won’t have to grocery shop for yourself as much. There will be no lawn to mow, and no house maintenance costs. There may be a free gym with programs and equipment provided. And what value do you give peace of mind? They normally have someone on staff who can answer financial questions, and help you with insurance arrangements, or find government programs that might be available.
Many people, like Mom, just prefer to stay in their own home as long as they possibly can, with minimal help. I am glad Mom has that option, and I am glad to be her helper. But, should she need more help than I can provide I know she will be okay with senior living.
Have you ever visited an assisted living facility or care center? What did you think of it?