Tag: letter M

A to Z Challenge: Mandy

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Character sketches that are fictional, but based on real people, like us.

Mandy covered her auburn hair with a scarf and stepped out into the sunny spring day. She had just gotten a color that really suited her and she wasn’t about to let it fade with sun exposure. Looking good was worth what it cost in routine hair appointments. It was a way of letting the world know she cared.

The cancer diagnosis a year ago had sideswiped her. She had almost gotten back on her feet after the death of her husband, all the trauma, the loneliness, getting used to a different life without him in it. Facing off with cancer was like being asked to do it all over again, only it was her own life she had to worry about this time.

As if chemo hadn’t been bad enough, the toxic treatment gave her kidney failure so now she was going to dialysis three times a week. And because she had a cancer that was treatable but not curable, she was not a candidate for a kidney transplant. At times it seemed as if the world was against her, but she presented a whole different image to that world. It wasn’t going to see her go down. She was waging war against every negative aspect of her life. Her attitude was her number one weapon.

Her first step was to more closely match her energy level with her living environment. She sold her two story home and moved into a condo on the edge of town. No one there did their own yard work. There were no steps to climb. Her condo had windows with gorgeous views and the light streamed in and lifted her soul every morning.

She accepted her thrice weekly trips to dialysis as part of her life, like showering and eating. She decided they would be rest days, for reading, napping and whatever else she could manage. She was tired on those days but recovered by the following morning. Her in between days were full of times with friends, her grandsons, and getting to know her new neighbors.

The project of “feathering her new nest” had been so fun. She and a friend had searched the furniture stores until they found exactly the pieces that fit her rooms, matched the vibe she wanted and were comfortable and practical. Their efforts had created spaces that were inviting and filled with warmth, and pleased her. She chased happiness and peace, and all who walked into her living room felt she had caught a great deal of both.

In the name of hanging on to things loved, she had stayed with the church of her childhood. It was 30 miles away but it was worth it to her because she had purpose there. She was a musician and loved playing for the weekly services. It was there she felt comfortably challenged and appreciated.

At this stage of her game, she was making good choices, and she knew it. There were no guarantees for her longevity but her strategy was to hope for medical advances. Just last week she had heard of a medical trial for her diagnosis that made her pulse quicken. If she could get accepted for that she would really be in the fight with a new weapon, and that sounded good, really good…

Movies: Choices in Relationship Building

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This topic has become a more serious one for me of late. I’m aware that what goes into my mind in any form has consequences for my mental, emotional and physical health so I do what I can to guard those parts of me.

The room is dark but the glow from the computer monitor reflects off surfaces throughout the room. We are spellbound and immovable, except to push pause and rush to the kitchen for more snacks. We have both hopped into another world, another time and are making memories, living vicariously through the characters in our chosen story. We are engaging in 21st century binge watching. In recent years I have done this with both daughters during visits to their homes.

Eons ago when they still lived at home, lots of movies were watched. Julia’s room was more of a theater than a place to sleep, with a projector on a ceiling mount and a sheet for a screen. Friends coming over to watch movies was a frequent event. We didn’t have hours upon hours of a single story available, so we often watched the same two hour movie over multiple times. It still amazes me that they can quote a good portion of Princess Bride, or certain episodes of Mystery Science Theater, or Monty Python. Useful phrases like “anybody want a peanut?” should forever be available at a moment’s notice. Fun times.

What a character. I love him.

Then came mini-series and shows online with no commercials (yay!). Often the girls would have something that they were wanting to watch and we would do two or three hours at a time some evenings. The stories often had an historical bent or exciting plot that we couldn’t wait to get back to. Watching “Victoria”, “The Man in the High Castle”, “Poldark”, “Larkspur to Candleford”, “Madame Secretary” and “Downton Abbey” all have produced memorable times in my relationships with family members. It is easy for me to recall the details of sitting and watching with them, and discussing how it made us feel.

What I have to admit is that I don’t watch much on any screen the last few years and am pretty ignorant about what is out there. For a long while I grew weary of looking for movies that had content good enough to balance out the violence, perversion or superficiality also included. It was disheartening, and a waste of my time.

I think that is the important question for me – is it a waste of my time? I have decided to be very discriminating in what I watch when with others or alone. Like reading a good book, a good movie can be a wonderful way to escape my own problems and thoughts for a limited time. What really adds to its value though is watching with someone else and using it to build relationship.

Because movies are a reflection of the culture they come out of, and some are made with intent to influence, I always try to be aware of that with anything I watch. Even when controversial, movies can be starting points for some interesting discussions. Discussions are part of being relational, and getting to know others, so in that sense they are not a waste of time, but a tool.

Another consideration, cinematography has gotten so much better and more complex that it is sometimes the main focus of a film. Sometimes the realism is frightening. Sometimes I have to ask if a movie could actually be detrimental to healthy relationships. This is where discrimination is important.

Summing it up, movies and film in general are a big part of the world we live in and we end up making decisions about how we use our viewing. These stories and images can be a fun, interesting, educational tool in building our relationships, or something other than that. I’m glad that we do get to decide. Just sayin’…

Best movie you’ve watched recently?

A to Z: Selling Our House (Letter M)

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We had discovered a big time delay in our schedule when planning the electrical upgrade on the rental house. The electric company (FPL) could not schedule the power cut off until May 7th! The best we could do was to get on a cancellation list. When there’s nothing I can do, I’m pretty good at saying I’m leaving it in God’s hands, it’s his timeline I want to follow.

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A sudden change of plans. This is getting interesting.

 

Suddenly, there’s been a cancellation and the electrical work is getting done this Monday. I’m overwhelmed with the speed at which this house could go on the market, overwhelmed with all that I have yet to do. I’m finding that it actually requires more trust in God’s timing when there are things I can and should do. Will he equip me in necessary ways? Will he bless my time management?

 M for Management

Being a general contractor is a complex job. When a house is being built, it’s not easy to get all the specialists on the site at the right time, with the right supplies and equipment. I think I’m getting a small taste of what that is like as we orchestrate this sale and this move. It’s a little like reverse house building.

Some days I have two or three workmen stopping by either to do work or to look and give proposals. I take them around and go over our lists with them. Sometimes I watch them work, or pitch in and help. Our houses are not brand new. As we “peel off layers” of furniture, dirt, etc… we find new things to fix or clean up. The plumber, bless his heart, has been back three times for small things that have come to light.

It’s almost looking like the rental house could be ready before my own house. I haven’t finished a couple of paint projects on my side, and then there is the packing… The packing, yes. The rental house is empty, our house is definitely not. Realizing that we could actually leave, once the pictures are taken and the house is listed, I am trying to figure out what should be stored long term, and what should be available for our use until we have another house. When should I order the storage container? How long will it take to pack it? Should we leave any furniture in the house? If we pack it all, how will we manage ourselves and for how long? How will all this coincide with the husband’s plans to give notice and stop working?

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Raggedy Ann, which box would you like to rest in? And could you please fix your skirt – there’s a scary clown sitting next to you, Thank you.

Even today, as I struggle to rest and restore, I am trying to figure things out. I am answering calls about the furniture listed on Marketplace. I am thinking about which box to put my daughter’s keepsake Raggedy Ann in. I am wishing I had mowed the lawn yesterday. I am wondering who might want our grandfather clock.  I am thinking, thinking, thinking, and not resting, resting, resting.  I struggle to be still.

Big changes require a lot of physical work and maybe more importantly, for me, a good deal of spiritual work. I am discovering what God’s plan for us is, by seeing what he makes possible. He is an excellent manager and he will thoroughly equip us to do what needs to be done.  I am comforted by that… just sayin’.