healthcare – I Just Have to Say…

Deep, esoteric reading material leaves me feeling dumb and vocabulary challenged as a rule, but there is something that I took away from a recent read that resonates with me. It was about joy. (And I may have gotten it wrong, but forgive me C. S. Lewis.)

I agree with C.S. Lewis that real joy has a sadness, and a longing behind it that makes it what it is. I have found that to be true about caretaking. Every time I’m doing something for someone, I’m wishing they were well and able to do it for themselves. I’m thinking about what I have that they don’t, what I can do that they can’t, and I’m grateful that I can help them. There is joy in adding to their life something they cannot have on their own.

There is also the joy of coming together, collaborating and accomplishing a task, that is different from anything I can do on my own. I believe we are meant to be in community with others and find our greatest satisfaction in sharing our skills, our words, thoughts, and our time – and that is often what caretaking is about. Almost always, the people I am caring for have something that they give back and share with me. There is joy in that.

I am sad when caretaking seems like a one way street with no feedback, no acknowledgment, no life giving return. But even then, I feel that I am honoring God by caring for a life that he values until he says that care is no longer needed. Caretaking teaches me things about myself that I couldn’t learn any other way. Persistence, integrity, compassion, acceptance, courage are all attributes that get challenged and honed… courses in Caretaking University.

That’s it. JOY. Caretaking is hard work, at times frustrating, exhausting, discouraging and other “bad things”, but joy is there to be found. I have named it and realize that it makes me able to continue taking care of others.

Day 4 at Mayo Clinic had its up and downs, but was also the day that was the most accomplished so far.

The day started early – third day in a row that we were up, fed, and on the bus shortly after 7. Soon after arriving Dennis was met by the professional doing his testing and disappeared for a couple hours. He came out for a quick snack and then went back for another two hours. I thought for sure he would be exhausted by then. I was called back for a brief discussion with him and one of the testing doctors and then we rode the bus back to the motel.

While the husband was getting tested this morning I made a trip to the business office to check on the infamous pre-authorization request for the PET scan (still pending) and then wandered around looking at all the stunning artwork and views of and from the various buildings. So much marble and granite, so many windows, visitors sitting down at the grand piano in the lobby and playing a tune, people of all ages and cultures walking past, and always a new tunnel in the subway and a decision to make to walk it or not – I could have spent hours. (Some photos at end of post.)

To give Dennis time for a nap, we decided to take the car to the next test instead of riding the bus. The PET scan was scheduled for 4:50 and Dennis would be fasting until it was over. We knew he would need to eat soon after so Mom came along with us and we planned to go right to a restaurant afterwards.

Every time I checked on the request for authorization, the answer was the same. T 4:30 it was still pending and no one could figure out the persistent problem or get satisfactory answers. It was the most expensive test but the most important, so we paid for it to make sure he was able to take it. Insurance will get billed but we have no clue whether or not they will pay anything on it. Oh well.

Mom and I read our books and waited while the husband had his head scanned. The books we’re working on are both very riveting and we wouldn’t have minded waiting a little longer. As it was, the test was over quickly and we were off to have supper at “The Porch”, a converted railroad station family style restaurant.

Mom wanted the “Bomb ass gravy”. I kind of favored the “cold mac and crack”. If nothing else they had cool names.

Tomorrow will wind up the Mayo experience for this time. One test remains, the lumbar tap. I don’t know if I’m excited about this one or not. It’s the most invasive and has a bit more risk to it but is also one that the husband thinks could make a difference in some of his symptoms. It’s at 9 am. All that remains after that is the meeting with our primary specialist Dr. Jones at 3 pm. They expect he will have results from everything to discuss with us. I am so used to waiting a long time to get told of results so I will be surprised if it happens. We will drive home immediately after that.

Something we all think about as we watch the crowds of people at the clinic, on the bus, in the waiting rooms – they are all living out their private battles with illnesses that have happened upon them and changed their lives. Things are not normal anymore for them. They all have stories. They all wonder what their future will hold. Just sayin’, we are not alone by any means.