Hopefully, this is one of my last assignments from my publisher.

The account I’ve written about my experience caring for my husband through years of Lewy body dementia is soon to be published. I’ve been thinking about the main takeaway for readers of the book. What did I mean to communicate? 

Many of the stories in the book told of the daily struggles, frustrations, and challenges encountered during a prolonged terminal illness. I didn’t know at the time how long Dennis had to live, but I knew time with him was so much shorter than we had wanted. As I wrote about the hard times, I was reminded of how precious the small, ordinary moments can be. I want to remind readers that those moments can be found if they look for them. As I learned to look for them myself, the exercise changed me. I live differently now. I pay attention better. I even verbalize my joy and gratitude for the small, the unique, the never-to-be-had-again experiences.

This experience of seeing my husband of fifty years fight to survive, even as he clearly wasn’t winning his battle was so difficult. An unexpected diagnosis like this makes no sense if one does not believe in God, and know him. For me, it was important to know that God’s character demands that he give purpose to everything in my life, and in Dennis’s life. He is not wasteful. There was purpose in what we went through. Going through hard things is always valuable if we know God. For those readers of this book that desperately want help, notice that I often referenced the times when we turned to God for answers, for strength, for comfort and peace. We got what we needed and you can too.  

There may be comfort in knowing that others are experiencing similar trials, and I hope my accounts provide that for my readers. You are not alone. Although I never intended to write a handbook on LBD caregiving, you may find ideas or perspectives that help you with some of your problems.

Finally, as I’ve spent the last three years without my husband, I’ve also watched others go through that kind of loss. Some do not adjust well at all. I process and come to accept the life God gives me by thinking and writing. Others turn to professional therapy, to personal friendships, or to some other outlet for the recurring feelings that need to be expressed. One of the most important things that I mean to communicate is that it is okay to talk about those feelings. Even if they are not beautiful, kind or faith filled, it is okay to name feelings in order to move past them. Find someone who will listen, find an audience. Yes, things have changed and you are different, but you can move forward. 

I intend to write my story of moving forward. It is my hope that what I write will help in that regard as well. Your one life is the adventure God meant for you to have. Don’t let it be short changed.