Personal Challenges

Shirleyjdietz3 Comments

I have not been pushing myself to write for many months and am feeling the need to challenge myself in some way.  I want to see how many days in a row I can find a meaningful thought or experience to write about, starting yesterday.

Several months ago I had the opportunity to buy a boat, a kayak, something that I had wished to do for years.  And even better, I had someone who also wanted to buy one, and go on outings with me.  We bought our used boats and excitedly brought them home.  Mark, my cousin, has gone out in his boat several times.  He’s fitted it with ropes for his anchor, so he can fish without drifting.  He’s renewed his fishing license.  He’s been out enough times that he’s “settled in” to how the boat feels and he’s comfortable.  Me?  I’ve lent my kayak out to a friend for a month.  That’s it.

So, last week we planned to go out on the water.  We decided to explore the north end of Longboat Key, Florida since my boat was already out there.  On the west of the key is the Gulf of Mexico.  On the east side is the Intercoastal Waterway with it’s bridges, bayous and mangrove hammocks, and that was the side we were most interested in.  It’s waters are calmer, more protected and have interesting features.

I have a lot of questions about my ability as a kayaker.  I know enough about paddling to impress someone who has never done it at all, but I really don’t know how far I can paddle or what challenges there might be when someone starts going out a lot.  I wonder if I could get lost (we didn’t).  I wonder if I could end up in the wrong place and get run over by a yacht (didn’t happen either).  I wonder if I could meet up with dangerous marine life (no).  I wonder if I could get stuck in the shallows, capsize, get tangled in brush ( um.. nearly happened).  For all these reasons, this first trip in my new (used) boat was a challenge, in it’s own way.

There was never a prettier day to be out in a boat!
There was never a prettier day to be out in a boat

Mark and I started from different points with a plan to meet up in the middle.  The first challenge was to time it right and not miss each other.  That was actually pretty easy.  Longboat Key has a lot of man made canals with houses along them, much like streets in a neighborhood.  We paddled south looking at houses and seawalls for a while but that got boring.  Boats were everywhere and the water didn’t look very clean, probably because the canals were deep and the bottom was dark.  I don’t think I saw anything alive in the water either.  I don’t blame the fish for not wanting to hang out there.

Mangroves grow right down into the water ... no beach here.
Mangroves grow right down into the water … no beach here.

We headed out across the boat channel to a more deserted looking island.  It was mildly challenging to avoid all the speedboats and yachts navigating the channel, but kind of fun to ride the waves in their wake.  The water started looking cleaner with a lot of sand bar area and beach with mangroves on the shore.  Very pretty but still not much life in the water or on the shore. We got around the northern point of this little island and had the most fun of our outing.

A wide spot in the inlet where we could turn around...
A wide spot in the inlet where we could turn around…

We spotted a part of the interior of the island that had no trees.  As we got closer we saw a narrow inlet – it looked like someone had swept a path about a yard wide through the foliage and mangrove roots.  It was calling my name.  The path had a current and it kept going further and further into the island.  Lots of birds and lots of minnows.  I would say it was like an estuary where fish go to be born and hide until they get big enough to make it on the outside.  I was a little surprised to see that Mark had been able to follow.  He weighs a bit more than I do and has a heavier kayak, and there were places where the water didn’t look more than eight to ten inches deep.  We were able to get turned around and back out without having to get out and drag our kayaks, but it was a place where you could imagine that happening. Very interesting.

He's fishing, but not catching.
He’s fishing, but not catching.

The second really nice place was a little farther down the shore on this same island.  The surface of the water was very calm in a small curved bay so it was easy to see  when a school of mullet arrived.  The water began to boil with ripples everywhere.  Mullet love to jump.  They are a very exuberant fish.  They are the kind that actually might jump into your boat if you are quiet and stick around long enough.  But you don’t catch them with a fishing pole – they don’t have eating on their little fish minds when they are like this.  We watched for a while and then started the trip back.

The last task we had set for ourselves was to see if my kayak could be safely carried on the roof of my Mazda 3 (a rather small car).  The answer is no, not without a roof rack.  We did get it up there and strapped it down before Mark noticed that the roof was denting a bit.  These are one person kayaks, but they are 13 feet long and hefty for one person to handle.  My goal is to be able to load and unload by myself and I think I’ll be able to do it after I get a rack for my car.  Now we know.

Having made an investment in this form of recreation, and I absolutely love it, I am challenging myself to get out there and get some good experience.  And I love taking friends out with me if anyone wants to come – Mark and I agreed to share our kayaks if we had need for two.  And I need to pick a name for my boat…  what should it be?

 Help me name my blue Ocean Kayak.

And Again…

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The culprits, together again only by a miracle.
The culprits, together again only by a miracle.

“If we believe that God is everywhere, why would we not believe that he is in the smallest of coincidences? A coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous.”   R. Zacharias

Walking along the street with my daughter and granddog, I reached up for the hundredth time and tucked my hair behind my ear.  Only this time it was with immediate recognition that the gold hoop earring was not there.  Did I just knock it off? Julie began searching the pavement while I checked the hood of my jacket and inside my shirt.  I joined her and for a few minutes we searched the area, so obviously looking for something that a man walking by questioned us about it.  What were we looking for? How big was it?  This would make three times one of those earrings has fallen off and been labeled “LOST”.  Since we had been walking for more than half an hour, over a couple miles of road, I didn’t think there was much point in looking for it at all.  Oddly, I wasn’t terribly upset.  I loved those hoops and in spite of the poor clasp I wore them all the time, so it was my own fault.  This third time was inevitable.

However Julia, was not ready to quit looking.  She verbalized a quick prayer for help and her willingness to plan the search won me over.  We split up, turned on our phone flashlights and started retracing our steps.  The park we walked in was like a maze and it was difficult to remember which side of the road, which direction, which street we had been on.  It was also getting so dark that we could only see a small circle in front of us.  As we finally joined each other and started out of the park, Julie jokingly said “that man will probably come with your earring.”

Actually there was a man approaching us with his flashlight on.  And the first words we heard were “Girls, put your flashlights away.”  He held out my earring and shone his flashlight on it.  “It was very close to where I first saw you.” he told us.  “I figured it must be kind of important, the way you were looking for it.”  I think I hugged him.

As we walked home we began to think of all the coincidences involved in that experience.  Why did I suddenly notice the absence when I didn’t really feel anything, hear anything hitting the ground?  Interesting that I showed the man what it looked like – of several people I encountered he was the only one to ask or know.  He didn’t ask our names or have any contact information for us.  Had we left the park any earlier the chances of us meeting again would have been almost nothing.  We almost did leave earlier and could have taken a different street than we did.  It was pretty miraculous that we encountered him on our way out.  Now you know why I like the definition of coincidence at the beginning of this post.

Today I’m going to check on getting a different clasp on my tricky hoops.  At the same time I’m glad, grateful for the experience of losing a piece of jewelry since by it I had a chance to credit the God who loves me, in small ways.  He is approachable, concerned, all-knowing and nothing is too small to discuss with him.  He is perfect for someone like me who needs a lot of watching over… just sayin.

Today’s Marvel, Sunday January 18, 2015

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There are times when I feel so glued to the screen. When both of “my devices” are busy notifying, flashing messages and asking for my attention, it begins to feel like I can’t get enough.  I get almost obsessed with staying in touch.  Time to get outside and touch some real things.

Even though it’s Florida and we hardly ever get a freeze, I like to bring my orchids in for the winter. Every couple weeks I take them back out and spray them down, give them a good drink.  That’s what I did today. I was surprised how many of them have bloom stalks that will soon be flowers, in addition to those already blooming.  Taking care of my plants is part of the joy of having them – it is SO an antidote to computer paralysis.  They are a dose of fresh beauty right from the hand of God.

Here are my beauties, and the marvel of the day is at the end.  I think he lives there permanently.

just look at their cute faces...
just look at their cute faces…
these deep purple ones are some of my favorites
these deep purple ones are some of my favorites
Their thick healthy roots really anchor them
Their thick healthy roots really anchor them
...and my little marvel.
…and my little marvel.

How to Get Over Your Winter Cold

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and by that I mean, your upper respiratory infection, your virus, your bacteria gone wild in your body with all the gruesomeness that goes with it. I know I’m leaving out a lot of details.  Be grateful.

The husband and I got our winter colds together, more or less, this year which actually makes things convenient in a way.  We get quarantined together and only for half as long.  And exciting because it is so rare, we share the same interests, which are mainly, tissues, Airborne, and cough meds.

I hold certain over the counter cold medicines in high esteem. King of the bunch is the red mixture of acetaminophen, dextromethorphan HBr, and doxylamine succinate known as NyQuil.  It has to be red flavored.  I always keep this on hand as well as a good supply of DayQuil for days when sleeping is not a good idea.  In spite of all my admiration of meds I’m really kind of a natural remedy girl, and my most desired natural remedy is sleep.  Sleep always helps me feel better, and NyQuil always helps me sleep.  That is the connection.

We ran out.

The husband was at the big box pharmacy yesterday and decided to help out by seeing if I needed anything.  Should he get some cough medicine, he wanted to know.  Yes, yes, good idea.  Get some more NyQuil. Make sure it is Nyquil.  We have DayQuil.  We have everything except NyQuil and I like the red kind.  Did I say all this?  I’m not going to swear that I did because it would only cause disagreement, but I think I did.  And he certainly knew what  we had before.

We are now well supplied with cold and flu remedies.  We have NyQuil (green), two kinds of Robitussin, plus all the non-sleep cough medicine I had before and a new box of DayQuil.  At the rate of one bottle per cold season we are set for the next six years.  And the husband will get to drink all three big bottles of NyQuil because that green flavor (licorice?) won’t go down my throat.  The red kind is bad enough.

Live and learn.  We are both getting better, sleeping better, drinking lots of water and thanking God for bodies that heal, eventually.  Hoping everyone else is getting through the cold/flu season too and just a hint… your might want to do your own shopping for cough syrup if you’re as fussy as I am.  Just sayin’.

Ok, it's my own fault. I should have gone myself. This is only part of the stash...
Ok, it’s my own fault. I should have gone myself. This is only part of the stash…

Today’s Marvels

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Today I was suddenly entrusted with delivering my 9 year old cousin (twice removed) to her play date at a friend’s house.  She hadn’t had breakfast and the plan was to stop for a yogurt parfait at McD’s.  I was mentally thinking of the best route for fast food on the way – these are roads I travel frequently.

Me: I think we will head toward the interstate and stop at the McDonald’s right near there.  Ok?

Gracie: That’s fine.

Me: Is there anything else you’d like for breakfast? Is that all?

Gracie: Well, there is a Marathon gas station with a Dunkin’ Donuts right there and I really love their hash browns.

Me: So you are sure you are hungry enough for me to make an extra stop for hash browns?

Gracie: Yes, I’m pretty sure

I made it to the first stop without any trouble  but on leaving I got in a lane that I wasn’t sure would lead to the hash browns.

Me: Oh, I think I’m in the wrong lane.  I don’t know if I’ll be able to turn left again before the interstate.

Gracie: Yes, you can.

Me: I really don’t think there is another light to let me turn left.

Gracie: No there isn’t a light but there’s a place that you can wait in line and turn when there aren’t cars coming.

So you might not think this is a marvelous thing that a 9 year old should know where all the favorite fast food is – true it’s not. But how many know for certain the traffic patterns and how to navigate them when they have never been drivers?  I didn’t know there was a left turn opportunity there, for cryin’ out loud!  This is also the child that shows me all the short cuts through the neighborhood “the way Daddy goes”.  I have been with teens and adults who couldn’t direct me to places they go to ALL THE TIME because they don’t pay attention when someone else is driving.

I’m just sayin’ I know who I want riding with me when I start to forget where I live.

And I also want to remember where this gas station is.

I know it won't last but wow, look at that price!
I know it won’t last but wow, look at that price!

Forty-Two

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I remember the night I first saw this ring... back when it still fit.
I remember the night I first saw this ring… back when it still fit.

It’s the number of consecutive years that the husband and I have been married as of this coming Wednesday.  We’ve been thinking about it a lot this year, and by that I mean I’ve been thinking about it and when I’ve brought the subject up the husband doesn’t run away.  He’s actually listened and conversed on the subject.  I think we are both in agreement that we need to be more deliberate, purposeful, in our way of commemorating the decision we made those long years ago.

It is not an easy thing to do – this commemorating stuff.  We both come from plain, work oriented backgrounds, families that didn’t put a lot of stock in celebrating.  We had some imaginative ideas the first few years but after the demands of child rearing and careers interfered we didn’t try as hard.  I can’t say that there is one main thing that both the husband and I like to do together either (I don’t count eating) and that always added to the dilemma.  I like planning and surprises, which are both like words in a foreign language to the husband. He likes…. I don’t know what he likes.  When he makes suggestions, I seriously wonder if he knows what he likes anymore.  So why do we bother?

Because it really has been kind of an amazing thing – this partnership of two so disparate personalities.  Not a day goes by anymore that I don’t see somewhere evidence of pain, suffering and inconvenience from failed relationships and broken covenants. But here we are, still together, with no desire for it to be otherwise.  I feel sad that in the coming years marriages of forty, fifty, sixty or more years are going to be a rare occurrence.  Our forty two years haven’t all been a 10 on the happiness scale but that was more due to life circumstances other than marriage, and probably would have been much lower had we been going it alone.

I guess what we are really wanting to acknowledge to ourselves and to others is that covenant love is so vastly different from what our society calls love.  It’s a decision, a promise, a grounding, a secure, known place where two people can know they belong, no matter what.  It’s meant to mirror the love covenant that God wants to have with the people he created.

People laugh at me for calling Dennis “the husband” but there’s more to that label than you might think. He’s not just “a husband”, he’s the husband meant for me.  I’ve had times when I honestly couldn’t think of why God brought us together BUT even then I was sure that he had.  I’m still sure (and I’m still trying to find out why God brought us together…) The beautiful thing is that we really do love each other based on something outside ourselves, outside our feelings, apart from our circumstances and we’ve seen the blessing that has been.

I have somewhat romantic, idealistic female children and I think they sometimes see the husband and I as having this lack luster, boring existence.  They might even wonder if we love each other, which is not good in this day of “the best thing you can do for your children is to love their mother/father” mantra.  That is perhaps one of the most important reasons I want to make it a special year.  I want my girls to know that we do care deeply for each other, and for them, for our family.  We might not have planned the cruise of a lifetime, or renewed our vows in a big ceremony, bought each other expensive gifts or spent the week’s food budget on a night out at a restaurant.  We might actually watch TV till 8pm, take our dose of NyQuil and try to go to sleep without coughing ourselves to death – it’s been that kind of a week.  But we love each other, and we know it… once again, just sayin’

The Voice of Condemnation

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Condemn: to express strong disapproval of, to show or declare guilt, to declare unfit for use.

Every now and then the voice of condemnation makes a bid for prominence in my day, my thoughts and feelings.  It’s often when I hear the story of a famous, influential person who has accomplished a lot, or when I hear a tribute to someone who used their talent in an extraordinary way and influenced many lives for better.  I am tempted to look at my very small circle of influence and compare.  The voice points out the ways in which I have not been courageous, or diligent, or faithful, or willing to be involved.

Yesterday I entered the doctor’s waiting room, signed in and took a seat.  There was a late 20’s aged girl totally absorbed in telling her life story to an elderly couple.  She recounted her home life, her dysfunctional relationship with her father, mother and brother, and the situation she was presently involved in.  There were many complaints, tales of poor decisions (blamed on others, of course) and all voiced loudly enough that I had a hard time concentrating on the book I was trying to read.  I was wishing not to hear her after five minutes, but after fifteen minutes I was actually considering going outside to escape and asking the desk to call me when it was my turn to go back. The elderly couple was called back and she no longer had an audience, which clearly upset her.  She changed chairs and started making comments to herself about how sick she was.  She got up and kicked a book off the chair next to her, sat down on that chair, and mentioned out loud how she was not going to pick up the book because she was too sick.  I was SO grateful to be called about then and spared having to get into a conversation with her. She had “needy” written all over her and I didn’t want to deal with it.

You see, I am very aware of the miraculous ways in which God is walking into people’s lives and changing their course, and yet I am not always willing to get involved.  The truth is that when I have been involved in situations similar to that, they have not turned out well.  Over time I have seen that I am ineffective when it comes to counseling, reasoning with people to enlighten them, thinking of what to say to help them.  I am not able to change hearts, and much of the time I can’t even figure out what their need is and how to approach them.  Here’s where the voice of condemnation would like to finish me off. It would like me to think that I was responsible, and that it is now over, too late.  The voice repeats “It’s about you, and your failure.”

I have been convicted of my part and in response I am asking for crazy boldness, extra resourcefulness, time at the right time, and discernment.  I know God can teach me these things.  I know he forgives me for falling short.  If I hear a condemning voice, it is not his and I had better ask who that voice belongs to.  It is never too late for God to show what he can do, in fact the later it seems, the more awesome he proves himself to be.

“so, there is now no condemnation…”    The Bible, Romans 8:1

Guess what? It is not about me (or any of us). The whole story is about God and what he has done, is doing and will do yet. It is not over, not too late.  It’s in progress and we are part of it, a special part, but it is not about us.  That is pretty good news, just sayin’…

No Fun Today

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I typed that and realized immediately that it wasn’t true.  I am quite sick today but in spite of it, there is fun to be had in resting, reading, doing quiet things that never get done while I’m able to work.  I’m having fun being sick, who would have thought…

Before anyone gets envious let me say that it’s difficult to concentrate when my head hurts, throat hurts, chest rattles with every breath and the aches and pains of fever make me feel weak.  This feels more like pneumonia than anything I’ve ever had before and it came on very fast.  Most likely I will recover but just in case, I want to say that it is very freeing to realize that things go on without me.  I know some people feel like they cannot take a day off when they are sick, or for any other reason, because they are indispensable. Well, nobody is indispensable.  I’m glad I’m not. I stayed home from everything today and plan the same for tomorrow. Nobody wants to be exposed to what I’ve got.  Staying home when one is sick is a way to show love to others.

In between naps I’m getting some reading done, catching up on my blog reader, cleaning out my inbox, and thinking.  How glad I am that I am here in my own bedroom rather than in Cambodia like I was last year when I got sick.  How strange that it has happened two years in a row after many years of not being ill.  Hmm…

I’m especially thinking how God uses sickness in my life to remind me that I am not in control, to increase my compassion for others, to get me quiet and listening,  I’m not afraid of being sick, whether it leads to recovery or not.  I love being here on earth, but I would also love not being here.  Thinking about dying is not a fearful thing, and I thank God for that. As I get older my most common thought about dying is wondering how it will happen.  Accident? Cancer? Pneumonia?  I have preferences but they are between me and God, and I doubt I’ll get to choose.  I think it’s very wise of him not to let me know ahead of time.

This is kind of a stupid post and I’m not terribly proud of it, but having this much time on my hands I had to write something, and these truly are the things I think about while being sick.. Just sayin’…

New Year’s Rituals

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I don’t have many plans for midnight tonight.  In fact, I will probably be sleeping at work if my client has no inclination to stay up and watch TV.  Even looking at pictures of Times Square in NYC on TV gives me a severe case of claustrophobia – no way would I want to be there on New Year’s Eve.

But I do have one ritual for the New Year to which I have been pretty faithful.  Every year I get a new calendar book and during the first week of January I like to go through it and transfer all my important dates and addresses.  I like to page through the old one and notice what I wrote, what I did or didn’t do.  Even the weeks when I wrote nothing have significance  because I was probably too busy to write. If I can remember why I was so busy, all the better, and I put that in.  I try to find three of four really important happenings that I can transfer to my family timeline notebook.  I count it as a good investment to spend one day a year remembering what life has been like.  I often end up thinking “oh yeah, that was such a fun time and I had completely forgotten about it!” Looking back helps me get more mileage out of those precious moments of the past.

Someday, all these date books full of the appointments and thoughts of my life are going to be fertile ground for a book to spring out.  It might be a memoir, or something completely fictional – I haven’t figured that out yet.

my trusty companion in 2014
my trusty companion in 2014

This is my old datebook.  It’s one of the best priced ones I have found so I ordered a new one just like it for 2015.  It has a lot of useful information about the area where I live and enough room on each day to serve like a mini-diary or journal. It was sturdy enough not to get bent up or lose pages and it features a tear off corner that makes it easy to find the current page.  I ordered it from www.datebook.com. They have one for most metropolitan areas.

I’ll probably be working on my datebook tonight for a while, but the bigger project will be getting ready for Jack’s football party tomorrow.  That will definitely be the first priority.  Happy New Year everyone!

Christmas On Call

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The blogging world is full of posts about Christmas, lights, trees, presents, the good of it and the bad of it.  None of that here. We spent the holiday with the lady horse doctor who was on call all weekend.  The best decoration we saw was not red and green but was best described as ROYGBIV.  It was a stormy drive up to Jacksonville and for the last hour we saw the most beautiful rainbow directly in front of us.  It was the most vivid, bright rainbow I have ever seen and it just kept getting better and better.  My pictures don’t do it justice but here it is…

the prettiest decoration we saw
the prettiest decoration we saw

Being on call for Dr. Julia means having to go everywhere with the vet truck and two cell phones just in case someone needs an emergency visit.  She got through Christmas Eve and the next morning with no calls. Finally,during the one celebratory dinner that we were invited to, the answering service finally found out she was the designated doctor and the calls started coming.  Off she went to help a suffering horse.

I say that she had to take the vet truck, but part of the challenge of the weekend was that her truck was in the shop getting wheel bearings replaced.  She borrowed a truck from one of the other docs and it had to go back to him the next morning.  So, for Friday morning’s calls she had to bear the indignity of driving around in “the Mary Kay car” as she calls it (no it’s not a pink Cadillac, It’s my gray Mazda with a small MK sticker in the back window…). And I got to come along.  We put on a couple hundred miles driving up to the Jekyll Island area to check out a horse with a swollen eye.  It was a sunny, warm day and the Georgia coast was stunning. I want to go back when I have time to stay. While I’m thinking about it, if anyone wants to help me start fund raising to get Dr. Julia a good truck that doesn’t break down every other week, let’s do it.

Sinus infections.  Yes, horses get them and they have a lot of sinuses in those long heads.  The next stop was to check out a horse with copious, foul smelling drainage coming out of it’s nose.  Dr. Weldon and Dr. Julia got to put a camera up this horse’s nostril and rule out a tumor/lesion, after which Dr. J. punched a hole into the sinus and irrigated it.  Not your average Christmas activity.  Not smelling at all like pine boughs and cinnamon.  It was gross.

See the little square over the sinus area where the hair has been shaved.
See the little square over the sinus area where the hair has been shaved.
numbing the area
numbing the area
working the large bore needle into the sinus to drain and irrigate
working the large bore needle into the sinus to drain and irrigate
looks brutal but it works (I've seen just about the same procedure done to humans)
looks brutal but it works (I’ve seen just about the same procedure done to humans)

This horse felt a lot better when she was done.  Really.

The next day when her own truck was back, Dr. J graciously allowed the husband to ride with her on morning calls and he found it very interesting. His only complaint was there weren’t any stops for food and it was way past lunch by the time she brought him back. She still had to do one more barn call up in Georgia.

What a great weekend it was.  I love spending time with my grown children, seeing what they do, what makes up their days. There is time to talk while we drive or fix meals together, or watch Master Chef episodes back to back.  I love to help with the housecleaning and dishwashing, I don’t mind sleeping on the couch, letting the dog out or feeding the cats.  It’s all good.

Sunday morning we threw our bags in the Mary Kay car and headed out into the fog toward home. Dr. J was standing at the door and there was a text on my phone, “I miss you already.” We waved and cried.  And those are the things that I will remember about Christmas on call.

(Order Mary Kay from me in 2015 and help fund a vet truck for a struggling horse doctor ... just sayin'.)
(Order Mary Kay from me in 2015 and help fund a vet truck for a struggling horse doctor … just sayin’.)

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