Giving Care

October 3, 2014 Shirleyjdietz3 Comments

This week I have not called my mom. I have not called my daughters. I have not done any writing. I have not done the laundry or cleaned the house. I have hardly been at home. I started a new caregiver assignment that turned out to be quite challenging.

Even young people can have a hard time when they are weak and sick, but being that way when you are elderly is worse. It is a pit of helplessness. My friend Jack is in that pit. I don’t know if I can help him climb out but I know I can’t just leave him there either.

After spending seven months either in the hospital having surgery, or fighting infections, or getting his diabetes regulated, or in rehab trying to get his strength back – he is finally at home. He was giddy with excitement when they brought him out to evaluate his home for safety. It wasn’t that any of the institutions were bad places. He had just had enough of the routines, of professional friends, of hospital furniture, of TV on the ceiling. He dreamed of the peace and quiet of home.

In spite of having a nurse manager, an occupational therapist, a physical therapist, a home health aide and me, medical “girl Friday”, this week at home has made Jack realize that he had some very high expectations. Meals don’t appear magically at home. Messes don’t clean up by themselves. There are no helping hands at home every time you feel a little dizzy or off balance. Home can be a scary place when you are alone, when you fall and can’t get up, when your blood sugar is so low you can’t think straight or have the strength to get out of bed. Help comes and goes, but has often gone when you need it most.

Every day during my time with Jack, we would work on some of the problems he was having, we would have a meal together and then he would nap, pretty much worn out. My five hour stretches were the longest periods of time that anyone was able to be with him. Every time I left, I felt a bit guilty, almost afraid of what I’d find when I returned. I got the impression that he was anxious too, wondering how he would get by.

So, I’ve gotten a chance to watch Jack suffer, mentally and physically. He has had to give up every shred of dignity as we women do things for him that he would much rather do for himself. But I have yet to hear a word of complaint, or even of anger really, Somewhere along his life path, Jack has learned to suffer well. As I watch, I think how valuable an example that is. We all will suffer something, sometime, and have to decide how to view that suffering, how to act when we are in the middle of it. Can we learn and grow from it or is it a waste of time?

I found a caregiver who will stay the night with Jack, starting tonight. As he was meeting her he seemed more hopeful, stronger, more able to talk. Maybe he will work through this hard time and gain his independence once again. At the very least, I think he will get a good night’s rest. I will also rest better tonight.

Have you learned something valuable from a time of suffering in your life? or from watching someone else suffer well?

I’m Sorry, I Love Cake

September 27, 2014 Shirleyjdietz2 Comments

In spite of having people who endorse me for my wellness and nutrition advice on LinkedIn, I love cake. Not healthy, nutritious cake (oh sure, like there’s healthy cake…) but ordinary white cake with blue and green frosting. Like this cake.

It’s not overwhelmingly sweet, it’s soft, easy to eat, not at all filling – pure fluff and nonsense. I’m away from home in a somewhat captive environment and am hoping I don’t eat the rest of this before the day is through. Help me.

Hospital!

September 27, 2014 Shirleyjdietz1 Comment

Relax. I’m not announcing an accident or illness. Once again, up in Jacksonville, I’m checking in on the lady veterinarian who now has a new, additional workplace. She is still all about horses but doesn’t want to get out of touch with the smaller species either. Enter, the Oceanway Animal Hospital and it’s friendly staff.

I came on a quiet, Friday afternoon and was able to sign up for the afternoon tour with guide Stephen. He was manning the front desk, phone, delivery door, etc… and was able to do it all while giving me the tour. He is a biology major in his junior year and still relatively new to his job. I think this may have been his first tour. He seemed a little surprised.

Like many smaller animal hospitals, I thought this one could have been a house at one point. We walked through the various rooms and were back in the reception area in about five minutes, well… maybe three. But all the necessities were there – exam rooms, lab area, med room, kennel, surgery, x-ray, kitchen. Stephen and I had a little chat while waiting for Dr. Julia to finish with a patient. There seemed to be a lot of laughing and talk going on in the exam room so I assumed it was a happy visit.

Dr. Julia took a moment for my requested photo op before starting on her next client, a large orange, tiger-stripe cat who had arrived in the arms of his owner. People love their cats and dogs. I’m sure it will be an interesting place for Dr. J. to work, and it might come in handy at some point since she has her own dog and three cats.

"Real doctors treat more than one species..." — “Real doctors treat more than one species…”

So This Is Canada: 12 Unguarded Observations of a Returning Canadian

September 14, 2014 ShirleyjdietzLeave a comment

Yes, I can imagine every one of these being true, and they are well said! Canadian friends, you will love. And Seattle daughter, #7 is for you to laugh about.

Breaking Moulds

Reverse culture shock is an interesting beast. It’s been six weeks that I’ve been back in Canada after living in Japan for four years, and I am in a weird headspace. People ask how the adjustment is going; it is certainly bewildering. I feel that I have not actually adjusted a single bit, but that I have simply been plucked mid-step from one life, one world, and shoved straight into another.

I’ve always felt a certain affinity with the little green men.

Here are a few things I’ve noticed about this strange land since arriving/returning. I realize that some of these points might touch on sensitive subjects, so please take them for what they are: not criticisms or statements made to be inflammatory or offensive, but raw observations and unguarded thoughts of a person seeing their home country with fresh eyes.

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Being Home, Being Restored

September 12, 2014September 12, 2014 ShirleyjdietzLeave a comment

I love to travel. I love to be home. Even though there is a lot here to be responsible for, and when I’m gone nature does it’s thing pretty much unchecked (the husband did mow the lawn) it is still a place that restores me. It begs me to take part, to pull a weed, pick up a few fallen branches, smell the mint and the rosemary, touch a mossy rock, marvel at a single strand of spider silk floating from somewhere to who knows where, hold my ears when the cicadas get all fired up. At some point there will come colder weather and it will change, but for now it is still the hot, humid, green glory of summer. Nature is more than amazing, it is God’s gift showing his thoughfulness, his love of beauty and drama, his attention to detail, his desire to nurture and uplift, his power to take down and start anew

If you need a spot of beauty in your day, come take a morning walk with me through the Oneacrewoods.

shapes, colors, texture, variety for our eyes to see

The First Alphabet Challenge?

August 30, 2014 Shirleyjdietz2 Comments

Click Picture to CLOSE

One of my summer projects has been to read the book of Psalms as if it were a blog, which is why one of my pages is called David’s blog. Looking at it in this different way has made me notice some things I hadn’t thought about before. Last week, reading Psalm 119 I was reminded of how it is divided into 21 parts, each part starting with a letter of the Hebrew alphabet – aleph to tav. It was David’s A to Z Challenge! This, of course, means a whole lot more to me this year after doing my own A to Z Challenge for the first time. Writers are writers, and apparently it is nothing new to stimulate ideas and creativity with challenges.

I’ve also noticed how many different writers are collected in the Psalms. Lots of them are labeled “of David” but others have interesting introductions like “a maskil of Ethan the Ezrahite” and “for the director of music. According to gittith. Of the sons of Korah.” One of my favorite writers was Asaph. I wish there had been more written about who he was and what he did to inspire some of his writings. Some of the introductions sound like things I read today, but in much nicer language. For instance this one “a prayer of an afflicted man, when he is faint and pours out his lament before the Lord” (Psalm 102). I’ve been in that place more than a few times and tried to express it in my writing. I have a bond with that guy.

Beep, beep, boop?

August 28, 2014August 28, 2014 ShirleyjdietzLeave a comment

What? Who did this? To those of you reading who are not also bloggers, I will explain. One of the latest updates to WordPress, my blog host, includes a cute little “beep, beep, boop” message wiggling around in the center of a blank screen for a few seconds after certain commands are instituted. It’s a thing to look at while you’re waiting. Evidently someone thought that us bloggers would lose interest and wander off if we didn’t have something new to look at for three seconds while our post is being published. I’d like to meet the originator of this idea and try to figure them out. I’m always amazed at the things people will think to do. Actually, sometimes I’m also amazed at the things people don’t think to do – the old rule, never say never, applies equally to never say always. Both good things to remember.

This last week, every time I sat down at the computer I lost interest and wandered off. One day I didn’t even turn the thing on. But that’s ok. A week of inactivity online doesn’t bother me much and gives me the opportunity to write about what I have been into while I haven’t been writing.

– Equate extra strength Headache Relief, for the headache that doesn’t seem to want to quit. Although I’m probably not doing my stomach any favors, I’m grateful for the four or five hours of relief and super wakefulness that I get from swallowing a couple pills.

Hello headache, my old friend... — Hello headache, my old friend…

– Intraocular injections (shot in the eyeball), for the eye problem that was dramatically improved, in the doctor’s own words. I’m grateful that it’s working and that I don’t have to get another one for five weeks, although I am getting used to everything about them (except the cost…)

– Childcare, for several of my yòoung friends who I realize I’ve been missing. How come you guys can grow up in what seems like no time at all? Gracie, Lydia, Josh, Zeke, Shiloh – grateful for time spent with you that makes me feel younger even while I marvel at you getting older. I’m troubled by the fact that I’ve never played X-box. Is that weird?

Childcare for her, adult care for me... — Childcare for her, adult care for me…

– Old letters and old files, for the urge to purge and to organize. Lots of stuff has been burned or shredded, but lots else has been rediscovered and readied for the next project, memoir writing. I’ve always been alarmed by my lack of memory for details of the past. Not only did I forget all those details, but I forgot that I’d written them down in letters to others. This morning, reading letters written to my mother ten years ago, all I could think was “Really, I did that?” and “Did some other person’s life sneak into my letters?” Grateful for the written record of the past.

I'm more prolific than I remembered. — I’m more prolific than I remembered.

– Appliance shopping, because the washer and dryer that have wanted to leave my house for years, finally broke free. Grateful that within hours of starting to shop for replacements I came across a used set that is probableyten years younger. After only one session with the furniture dolly, the truck, the hoses, wrenches and plumbing tape, they are installed in my laundry room and functioning almost correctly. The printed message under the temp dial that says “all rinses are cold only” really means they are scalding hot only. I think I know how we can fix that.

– Air travel websites, for the supposed improvement of doing it yourself. Instead of calling a knowledgeable person and telling them when and where I want to travel I can now spend hours online hunting for the best connection at the best price. And American Express Delta Frequent Flyer card, how dare you revoke the companion ticket feature without telling me. Planning my revenge…

– the garden that was, the heat that is, that yard that will be. Grateful for the healing work that takes place in me when I’m outdoors. Grateful for green things, if they’re plants – not, if they’re worms.

– Face time, with friends and family who care. I am realizing that the purpose and value of life is all in the relationships I find and nurture. Realizing also that God is that friend and that family member who makes it all possible. Having less work away from home has given me more time to nurture the relationship with him and I am so grateful for that. Gives me some precious times of discovery, comfort, peace and excitement. Arlette and I took a lovely walk yesterday and talked of all these things.