Here I am again, and it’s only been four months since I last wrote. I think about doing it a lot but I have the habit of doing other things instead. In the business of recording my life, I’m uncomfortable with these large gaps. Winter of 2026 is a good time to catch up. Being home recovering from Norovirus gives me more than the usual time to do it. 

It seems that my life, lately, has centered around three main issues; my man, my book, my family. I will start with my man, Kevin. I had heard that you can learn a lot about a person by traveling with them. That is why I had invited Kevin to join me in North Carolina. I have to say that this trip did not disappoint.

We did well while staying with Julie. We did well traveling in the car to Indiana. Everyone has their own style of travel and we matched pretty well. I was excited to show Kevin my cousin’s beautiful hotel on the Ohio river (Fairfield Inn, Madison IN). I had booked a room there for him, while I stayed at Marlene’s house. We spent an extra day there and took an eventful hike at Clifty State Park. I could write a whole story on that hike, but not now. 

The last day of the trip was to the Wisconsin airport where he had left his truck. Toward the end of this time, we talked about our relationship. One or the other of us will often put the invitation out there – “what are you thinking?” It’s one of the things I admire about Kevin. He actually has reflected on our relationship and will talk about what he thinks. 

I had some questions about intimacy, partly because doing a trip together has a definite feeling of intimacy. Even aside from sexuality, there’s all that time in the car, learning each other’s tolerance for bathroom stops and hunger needs, what to listen to on the radio… it’s a lot. But we hadn’t really talked about the sexual aspects. We hadn’t shared a room, or a bed and I had sensed there was tension surrounding that. 

Kevin and I come from somewhat different cultures. The bottom line in my upbringing is no sex outside of the marriage covenant. In his, marriage is important, but not as necessary if there is commitment expressed. I think what I asked him was, “Are you just waiting, and expecting that I will soon change my beliefs about marriage and sleep with you?” He thought for a moment and answered “yes”. 

Looking back, I think he heard the “are you waiting” part, and of course he was waiting. I was concerned about the “are you waiting for me to change” part, and that was not going to happen. I also added that if a sexual relationship was his primary goal, he should probably go find someone else to pursue it with, asap. My hurt was that he apparently did not respect my faith held views on a Godly marriage. His hurt was that I would so easily reject him. 

And so began our first real crisis. It didn’t feel like an argument, really. It felt more like an ultimatum.There was no shouting or other meanness, but things did get really quiet. Fortunately we were at the airport. We finished the last hour of our trip in separate cars trying to process what had just happened. It was only the beginning of what we would learn.