Now the rest of the events will unfold, sort of like the domino
that falls and starts the whole line up toppling, one after the other.
I consider the adventure to have started yesterday when I
left for the Minneapolis airport to fetch youngest daughter to us. It was a
successful trip with the usual number of unexpected turns. Her route from Seattle
was through Dallas (everyone’s intuitive path…) so the storms there delayed the
flight 90 minutes. Then her luggage got put on another plane and we waited
another hour for that to arrive. But she made it! We were home by 11 pm.
We have Mother’s Day to celebrate with a family brunch after
church today. I have packing to finish and hopefully a relaxing walk somewhere –
it is warm and sunny and spring is springing. This evening I will drive back to
Minneapolis and hopefully get some sleep before my early flight out to
Flagstaff. It seems quite unreal that one week from this moment I will be back
here, sitting in this chair probably, having gone through it all. One week of unknown adventure and unique Grand
Canyon views (and possibly physical torture…). It will be over. How does time
do that to us?
The world has gone a bit surreal, and I’m not quite sure where to place myself in it. Thirty one years ago I left Hayward, Wisconsin for life in Florida. It was a completely new life in every way. Now I am back, but again it is a new life in nearly every way. The actual “work”of moving is done so now I have time to think about what has happened. Introspection is a mixed blessing.
We arrived last night, like we have for many vacations over the years, after a long drive, suitcases in tow, with plans to catch up with family members and visit childhood haunts. The surreal part is that we won’t be packing up again in two weeks for the trip back to Florida. We will stay here and see the seasons change, make new friends, start new routines, and settle in. Instead of calling Mom every morning I will meet her in the kitchen as we get our first cup of coffee. Instead of cleaning my own house and taking care of the oneacrewoods, I will be looking for ways to help others with their homes and yards.
For months, this change from one life to another has seemed so far off and so slow in coming that it was hard to believe it would happen at all. “If you ever get here…” Mom would say. I would reassure her that the “challenge of the week” would be met and that we were making progress, but honestly, I had moments when I cried and felt like I couldn’t do it. The most valuable thing I learned from it all is that I should not spend a lot of time looking at the large picture – it can be too daunting viewed as a whole. One day, one step at a time is all that I was designed for. Each small accomplishment should get its full measure of satisfaction and celebration. One by one the hurdles got crossed and now I am sitting at the end of the course wondering how I got here. Once again, the passage of Time has created a miracle, a change.
I learned about home improvement, about hiring painters and contractors and overseeing projects. I learned about getting medical and financial records in place and ready for a move. I learned about selling and buying trucks and what goes into the making of a good trailer. I learned I had friends. I learned that hard things become easier when I pray about them and decide to trust that I’ve been heard. I learned that some things must be waited for and are beyond my control. I learned that having even one concrete task that I can do is a comfort and a blessing – get busy and do it – then look for the next thing.
The house in Florida has not sold yet, but we joke around saying we are homeless, because the house is empty and our “things” are in storage. Instead I’m going to remember that my goal was to be with more of my family and that has come to be. If “home” is where my people are, I’m not homeless. Instead, I’ve come home.
More to come, because this is going to be interesting, a new page. Just sayin’…
I have learned so much during this move, and haven’t had time to write about any of it! Stay tuned for a full confession in the next few posts.
Trucks and Trailers
I’ve had enough of them, but I dare not complain because there is more to come and I depend upon them. They are a part of moving. Graceful acceptance is in order.
I’ve totally lost track of how much I’ve recorded in my blog so this is a quick summary of events. I sold my car which reduced us to a one truck family. We traded that truck for a more roadworthy model and it is slightly smaller than the Silverado, but it’s still a truck. I am a truck girl for the time being.
The other truck in my life is the one that brings and takes away my PackRat container. It has been in our yard, struggling to turn around and get in position, four separate times now. The last time was last week when our fully loaded container left on its way to North Carolina. I had been packing it for three days with all those things that will someday go in an unfurnished house or apartment. According to instructions I was not to exceed 6,000 lbs. but it had been a long time since I had weighed any of my furniture or belongings (never). As I shoved the last heavy box of flatware over into a recliner, stuck high on a pile of book boxes and marble slabs, I had a bad feeling about the weight. I shut and bolted the door anyway because the driver had called and was only five minutes away from picking it up.
I innocently asked the driver how they weighed the containers and he pointed to a scale gauge on the lift. His words, “we’ve been taking a lot of overweight loads lately but the limit is 8,000 lbs. because the lift can’t handle more than that.” Honestly, I went inside to pray while he hooked it up and took the container up a few feet. God was listening – it was 8,000 lbs. and he gave me a thumbs up and took it away. I’m still marveling.
Don’t think our house was empty at this point. There were boxes and piles of objects unloaded from the furniture all over the house. All these things were destined for the nice, new 6×12 single axle trailer that we had just purchased to go behind our new used truck. I don’t want anyone to think that I did all this container and trailer loading by myself. I did enough of it but had excellent help from several friends who know how to lift, carry, stack and tie. Because I am not at all superstitious, Friday the 13th, was my departure goal. We had been given some guidelines in gauging the weight on this trailer too which I forgot about until it was too late. I have to say it was another tightly packed box by the time we finished.
We made it to North Carolina! Several large items in the trailer were for my daughter Julie who lives in Greensboro so the day after arriving I unpacked the trailer. With Julie’s help we reorganized and reloaded my trailer – and then unloaded and reorganized her trailer. She is even more of a truck/trailer girl than I am. Her trailer is twice the size of mine, so is her truck.
What remains for us (me, the husband, the truck and trailer) is the 18 hours of driving to our destination in Wisconsin. Gonna be such fun, right? We are going to be very familiar with each other by the time we’re done… just sayin’.
There’s nothing like moving to help you think about who you are, who you really are.
For years as a young mother, living in a rural area, I was responsible for growing a lot of our food and preserving it for use during our snowy, winter climate. I learned a lot about gardening, had my own rototiller, and a root cellar. I was baking bread with flour which I ground with my wheat grinder. I was making sauerkraut in stoneware crocks and canning tomatoes, green beans, beets, applesauce – lots of fruits and vegetables. I had a raspberry patch and made jam. I enjoyed that lifestyle so much. I loved being that person, even though it entailed a good bit of work. It was about 8 years of my life, thirty years ago.
Since then I have occasionally tried to garden but it felt more like raising produce for insects (or whoever it was who ate it before I got there to harvest). One year I canned tomatoes because the farms here in Florida were practically giving them away – they didn’t have workers to pick them. My Wisconsin persona brought jars, equipment, a pressure canner and expectations to my new home and they have been largely unused since then. I have kept them on a shelf in the garage. I have avoided making decisions that needed to be made.
Who am I now? Even more important, who am I likely to be in the future? It’s not that I don’t still like the thought of gardening, or of having good food put up for the winter. It’s that moving has made me decide not to be a person defined by “my stuff”. It felt empowering to put the jars in the recycling bin, knowing that they could be replaced pretty easily up north, if needed. The person I am is one who adapts to the reasonable default, whatever that is going to be.
Another similar moment (I know, two in one day!!) came in the course of taking the husband to work. He has been dreading closing up his office, making decisions about his boxes of books and papers. He has spoken of it several times so I offered to help him. We took a small table and I arranged all his books where his coworkers could look them over and help themselves. I went through his periodicals and we decided to pitch all but the last year’s magazines.
It’s probably harder for someone who has had a long career doing what they were educated to do. They really become defined by their job. I think the husband’s books, his physics notes from college (yellowed, with bugs, and copious dust), his work memos from eons ago, and bits and pieces of ventilation equipment were defining him to a great extent. He left the room and I took care of some of it for him (dumpster) but I’m not saying exactly what because he reads this too. If he can actually remember something he needs from it all I will go dumpster diving and look for it. I’m betting there will not be a need.
Now we are freer than we were, but not as free as we will finally be in a couple weeks. We will be free to adapt and be who we really are in our new circumstances. For me, the job will be easier without the canning jars along for the ride, just sayin’…
What on earth have we been doing? We’ve been selling and moving for months already! Aren’t we gone yet? No, we aren’t. Here’s what’s been happening in the past few weeks of relative silence:
The husband has been finishing up his last weeks at American Aldes Ventilation. They finally realize he is leaving and are asking him questions and scrambling to learn the things he will not be doing for them anymore
About half of our “things” got boxed and put in a container that is stored someplace in Tampa.
Packing has continued as I empty out closets, dressers, cupboards and the garage.
Keeping the house “showing” ready in case an interested buyer comes our way. We’ve had two open houses, both of which had 0 visitors. Really. Everyone is up north I guess.
We have been using up our food supply, giving some things away, sold the freezer. (Now we’ll hopefully leave before we get a hurricane so we don’t have to restock.)
Sold my car, and traded our red truck for a newer Chevy Colorado in a sophisticated grey.
Ordered a topper to go with the new-to-us truck to give us space for the move. They take weeks to make and getting it put on will probably be the last thing before we leave.
Spending lots of time driving around together, since I love to drive the new truck and am not letting the husband get behind the wheel.
Doing our last visits to doctors and dentists, compiling our health records to take north with us.
Keeping up with summer growth in the yard, mowing, pulling weeds and vines, trimming trees.
Visiting with friends we may not see again for quite a while.
Last but not least, trying to keep healthy and find our way out of some disturbing health problems.
What we hope to be doing in the next few weeks:
Dennis Retirement (Click here to see the invitation with a nice picture of the husband. I’m technically challenged to get it to show up, sorry.)
Retirement party!!! I am so excited to see the husband getting honored by his co-workers. He has been faithfully on the job for 35 years and has been through a lot with this company. They have been planning a special lunch out at a restaurant and a surprise. I have no idea what it is.
Making an appointment at Mayo Clinic. The husband is frustrated and depressed with his erratic blood pressure and extreme mental and physical fatigue. He has had a brain MRI and tests for his heart and circulation but no helpful diagnosis yet. Ever heard of NPH? We hadn’t either but it is one of the possibilities.
Emptying out the house. Filling our container and returning it to storage until someday when we have another house to furnish.
Buying a small trailer for the things we want to take north.
Taking our trip to Wisconsin, via Greensboro to see Julie and possibly Madison, Indiana to check out Ron and Marlene’s project (this is the first they’re hearing about this though, so we will be flexible on that.)
We absolutely have to be finished traveling and in Wisconsin by the end of July because the first week in August is the Smith Family Reunion and we are going to be there helping it happen!
So a lot has been happening, even as some important things, like the sale of the house, have not been happening. We are learning and practicing our waiting skills. And since it doesn’t make much difference where we wait, we will do it with family. We are not discouraged. The house will sell, eventually.
Life is strange now. I want to be out of Florida before hurricane season, but I’m horrified by the finality of a sale and having no home. It has taken so long to get ready and yet something about it seems to have happened so fast it’s scary. Hurry up and wait is an accurate description of what has happened.
Having a house for sale means we are in a state of constant tension. Showings are requested at random times, and of course we don’t want to say no so we must be ready. Part of the tension is being ready and then having nothing happen when it seems that something should be happening, or being ready and full of anticipation only to have the showing cancelled. It seems to happen frequently.
We’re eating out a lot. People want to see the house over lunch or dinner time when they are free, so we make the house presentable, turn on all the lights and make sure the AC is going, then we vacate so as not to interfere. The logical place to go? A restaurant where we can sit and eat and not mess anything up in the kitchen at home. It works for every reason except our so called “diet”. We have pretty much left that behind for the time being.
Last night we went to the local diner, “The Recipe Box”, during a showing and I was feeling a bit frazzled. I noticed immediately the relaxing music – soft jazz, recognizable songs, like at a piano bar. It was such a different sound from normal restaurant background music, because it was live with a real person playing a keyboard. She played during our whole meal and it was a gift from God to my house selling soul. She was so good that I bought her CD. There were only a few of us having dinner and we all clapped and commented on the songs.
The immediate result of all this showing is that we find out new reasons why people don’t want to buy our house. They have reservations about getting their RV down the one lane drive, reservations about the kind of neighborhood we’re in, reservations about whether they could remodel the way they would “have to”. Hmm… I don’t remember having any reservations when I moved here. I thought it was heaven on earth and could hardly believe it would be my new home. Was there something wrong with me? Thankfully, most who have looked have felt it was unique and fairly priced.
At this point, I can honestly say that I’m not upset about waiting. I am expectant of something interesting, and happy, and good. I fully trust that the process was started by God, in his timing and we’ll be looking back on it at some point and marveling at how it came about. Something is going to happen. I can hardly wait. No, wait, I am waiting. Whatever…
I knew April was going to be a difficult month. My full time job was going to be getting our house ready for the market and there was not going to be time for researching blog posts or coming up with clever (worthwhile) subjects. But I did not want to forgo the famous A to Z Blogging Challenge, which I have come to view as my April habit. The only solution was to blog about what I was going through and knew best. It turns out that it was not only the easiest subject to write but it also helped me to vent a lot of frustration and angst.
I didn’t go in for every bell and whistle offered. I skipped the daily logos, opting for the general one which stayed on my sidebar. I didn’t use a lot of hash tags, which I would have if I had been more familiar with Twitter and other social media sites. I thought the master list, and the daily lists were easy to use and not at all time consuming. I posted often on the night before since the list was always open at the earliest time zone. I never missed a day. It was probably my easiest year.
My theme was not one that garnered as much interest as other years, but I did find a few friends and appreciated them all. I had interesting comments and I think I answered them all. I was able to read some, but not nearly as much as I wanted to. I have a catch up goal of doing two or three a night for the next month. I like that the lists give each blogger’s theme or category, although I don’t just read the categories that match mine.
Our house prep was timed just about right to fill up the month, and I’m happy to post one last picture on my theme. We are finally listed for sale! The video and photos are awesome and we are hoping for a buyer soon. I’m sure I will probably blog about that too, so stay tuned…
To me, a landmark is a memorable object or moment marking a significant change in direction. A couple of whirlwind days (and nights) have resulted in what I would call landmark moments. In fact, it seems there have been amazing events, one after the other, most of the month as we progressed toward the listing of our house for sale. The most satisfying deadline came this morning – the taking of the pictures.
As scheduled the photographer was here at 7 am. That’s really quite early for people who are still living in their home to be ready, completely staged and photograph worthy. Clearly we were those people who weren’t quite there. Our realtors arrived and helped us hurry around and clear last minute items (the morning coffee cup), unfinished cleaning (the windows in the re-roofed area), and stuff we just plain forgot (the vacuum cleaner left in the middles of the floor). All this in a great hurry because the sun was coming up and putting a whole different light on things that wasn’t as photo friendly.
After we got out of his way, the photographer did a video panning the neighborhood and then proceeding through the house, to show the general layout. click here for video tour
Multiple listing service allows a video and 25 stills. This didn’t allow for shots of the garages. We were thankful. That’s where we hid all the personal things that didn’t belong in the pictures (think like a giant junk drawer).
We, on the other hand, got taken to a much-needed breakfast. This was the first time in several days that I’d actually sat at a table for more than five minutes. We signed the listing papers over our coffee cups. It was a landmark moment.
Another thing that made this a landmark day was later, watching two of my favorite “friends” go down the road to a new home.
One of the days that our realtor helped us as a handyman, he noticed my kayak and asked about it. He wanted to get one for his wife, so we bartered for his labor. Also, we had decided that we wouldn’t need my car in our new location and would sell it. In another conversation he asked about my husband’s truck. It wasn’t for sale but when he found out I wanted to sell the car, we immediately began to discuss that. He needed a “first car” for his daughter.
That’s how it turned out that after our signing breakfast, we went back to the oneacrewoods, put the kayak on top of the Mazda, and drove down to his house to complete the sale. I followed in the truck and took this picture.
Changes seem to be coming fast. I’m now a truck girl. Although I don’t have my boat anymore, I can still rent a kayak if I want to. More likely, I’m going to concentrate on hiking plans. And the biggest change, of course, is that we will probably not be living in Florida much longer.
I was hoping we’d be listed for sale by the end of this challenge, but no. However it is close. Today the Pack Rat storage container was delivered and I struggled to figure out where to put the thing so it wouldn’t dominate the 360 degree photo shoot. The big truck kind of tore up some grass too. But it’s out there and tomorrow I can start loading all those boxes!
Many themes do not easily suggest words for letters like Q, or V, or X, or Z. I have real estate sales to thank for an easy last day to this blogging challenge, because of Zillow. I have no idea where they came up with that name.
Zillow is an online real estate search tool that has come about since 2006. Not surprisingly it was started by some Microsoft guys. They gradually bought up other companies and their real estate data bank grew and grew. They have information about individual houses in every major area of the U.S. whether the house is for sale or not. They can “Zestimate” what your house might be worth if you are thinking of selling it. They can tell you what the trends are in your area and what comparable houses around you are selling for. They do this same kind of information sharing for rentals as well.
Of course, they don’t always do it perfectly. Our lot was listed as having only one house, when it actually has two. I don’t know how they missed that. I had to update it, which they allow owners to do. It’s a very interactive site that offers video tours of many homes – a very nice feature for buyers since it gives the ability to rule out many places as if you were actually there looking around at the house and neighborhood.
When we are finally on MLS I will put a link in the Reflections post, up on May 7th. And of course, if we’ve gotten an offer, or a sale, I will be sure to be deliriously celebratory.
Also today, the problem roof got nearly completed. Two buff guys and their paint rollers made a nice deck for us. These are the only pictures I have for today, but who doesn’t like to look at two buff guys working hard? I’m putting them up.
Today for the second day, pounding is resounding through the neighborhood from the work on our flat roof. I, however, am taking the day off, saying yes to the need to rest.
Yes, it’s the day for a Y word.
It seems lately there has been a lot of saying yes to hard things. Yes, to big expenditures. Yes, to big decisions to stop having other people live with us, rent from us, borrow from us. Yes to letting go of favorite things and activities in favor of new plans. To say yes to the future that God is gently bringing to us, one second at a time, takes a lot of trust and is a test of our courage.
Last night we had dinner at a favorite restaurant that has been operating since the early eighties, before we were in Florida. It’s an Amish place known for its pies and farm style cooking. We’ve seen them expand into a beautiful new building decorated with handmade quilts on the walls, a gift shop and a toy train that circles the dining are on a track on the second story balcony. It’s been a landmark restaurant in a land where restaurants come and go rather quickly. They are serving their last meals on Sunday and closing for good. Change has come for them and they said yes.
One day this week the husband came home and announced he had put in his retirement notice. I’ll admit, the timing is partly because he sees that I’m selling the house out from under him and he’ll have no place to come home to. But, other changes have been happening as well, and considering them over the past weeks has given him the courage to take that step toward big change. God works with people in ways that are right for their temperament and their ability to accept. It’s different for each individual, but he knows us. He gets us ready to change if we let him. He changes us and works with us so that we’re able to move forward. Yes is all about letting that happen.
One of these days soon, we will be signing our names to a contract of sale. We’re selling our house, not our life, and yet things in our life are going to change and never be quite the same ever again. There is a lot of freedom in the act of saying yes. It’s also a little scary.